10 questions to ask your partner before becoming exclusive, according to relationship coach: 'Definition of cheating...'

A licensed professional counselor shared 10 questions you should ask your partner before you make your relationship exclusive.

Are you thinking of going exclusive with that special someone? When the dating phase is going great with the person you are seeing, we often think of making things exclusive and getting into a relationship. However, as per Jeff Guenther, a licensed professional counselor, you should ask your ‘sweetie 10 questions before you become exclusive’.

Ask these important questions from your partner before becoming exclusive. (Shutterstock)

Questions to ask your partner before going exclusive

In a video captioned “10 questions to ask your sweetie before you become exclusive”, Jeff listed all the questions he thinks are important for partners to ask each other. They are –

• What's your definition of cheating?

It is important to know your partner's definition of cheating, both physical and emotional. “Be very clear here because sometimes we have wildly different ideas of what counts as cheating. Talk about flirting with other people, liking hot babes on social media, and watching spicy videos,” the counselor explained.

• What kind of relationship do you want?

Find out whether the person you want to be exclusive with wants a monogamous, monogamish, Polly, an open relationship, or they want to open it up in the future. Know their plan.

• How do you feel about living together eventually?

Jeff suggested asking your partner about what is their definition of living together. “Is it a goal for you, or would you prefer something like living apart together? Do you see moving in as just testing the waters, or does it mean we're definitely on the path to marriage?" he said.

• What kind of wild stuff are you into in the bedroom?

Remember, the goal isn't ‘too yuck or young’. You just want to understand what to expect as things heat up. It might give you something to look forward to or time to mentally prepare and get on board," the licensed counselor explained.

• What's your biggest worry about us?

He explained, “You probably have some concern about where things might get tricky. Put them on the table and see if we can talk through them. Maybe they'll reassure you, or maybe it's something we'll need to work on accepting together.”

• Are you prepared to be my primary emotional support, and what does that look like to you?

The counselor suggested knowing whether your partner is willing to be your primary emotional support. And if they are not, find out whether they are okay with you leaning on your community instead and not relying on them as much.

• What are you giving the most energy to right now?

Jeff said that understanding this as time goes by can change, but knowing what’s consuming your partner's energy is important. Find out if it ‘is school, work, creativity, your relationship, family, friends, partying, or tearing down the system’.

• Does anyone else think they are in a relationship with you right now?

This question differs from ‘Are you in a relationship right now?’. But, per the counselor, you should ask your partner this, too. Also include the question, “Are you in any kind of relationship, situationship, or current love triangle?”.

• What do you think is important for me to know as we move forward together?

According to Jeff, this is an open-ended question for a reason, as it allows you to see where your partner will take the conversation. It definitely leads to really honest and insightful answers.

• Should we skip all these questions because they will make us overthink everything and freak out before we even have a chance to enjoy this?

As per Jeff, this probably should have been the first question you should ask your partner.

Disclaimer: This article is for informational purposes only and not a substitute for professional advice.