In a relationship, compromise and emotional support are normal. But there is a difference between making space for someone and gradually losing yourself to keep the relationship intact. Licensed therapist Jeffrey Meltzer highlights three signs in his August 3 Instagram post that may indicate you are abandoning yourself for someone else. (Also read: From swipes to self-worth: Dating coach reveals how apps are changing confidence and communication )
1. You start seeing yourself through their eyes
Instead of asking yourself what you think, how you feel, or what matters to you, you begin evaluating yourself based on how the other person might respond. As Jeffrey explains, “You may change how you dress, hide parts of your personality, or stop sharing certain opinions because you’re afraid they may like you less.”
Over time, their approval can become more important than your own. You may remain in the relationship while gradually losing touch with who you are outside of it.
2. You say yes when you actually mean no
Another warning sign is constantly prioritising the other person’s happiness over your own needs. You may agree to things you don’t want to do simply because you’re afraid of disappointing them or creating conflict. Jeffrey says, “You stay silent when something bothers you. You convince yourself that your needs are not worth creating conflict over.”
But repeatedly ignoring what you really feel can affect your relationship with yourself. As Jeffrey puts it, “Every time you ignore what you really feel, you lose a little trust in yourself.” Over time, this can also lead to resentment, both towards the other person and yourself for not expressing what you actually needed.
3. The relationship becomes your entire source of stability
{{/usCountry}}But repeatedly ignoring what you really feel can affect your relationship with yourself. As Jeffrey puts it, “Every time you ignore what you really feel, you lose a little trust in yourself.” Over time, this can also lead to resentment, both towards the other person and yourself for not expressing what you actually needed.
3. The relationship becomes your entire source of stability
{{/usCountry}}Relying on a partner for love, comfort, and support is a normal part of a healthy relationship. The problem begins when the relationship becomes your only source of emotional stability, identity or security.
“Relationships are supposed to involve interdependence,” Jeffery explains. “The problem begins when your emotional stability, identity, or sense of security depends entirely on whether that person stays.”
You may begin giving up personal goals, neglecting friendships, and other relationships, or stop building a life outside the relationship because keeping the person becomes your main priority.
A healthy relationship should allow you to feel connected to someone without requiring you to disconnect from yourself. Making compromises is part of being with someone, but continually sacrificing your identity, boundaries and needs can leave you feeling increasingly disconnected from the person you were before the relationship.
Note to readers: This article is for informational purposes only and not a substitute for professional advice.
This report is based on user-generated content from social media. HT.com has not independently verified the claims and does not endorse them.
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