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Is honesty in relationships overrated? Study reveals what happens when you are 100% truthful with your partner

By | Edited by , New Delhi
Feb 05, 2025 11:44 AM IST

Honesty in love life: Want a stronger relationship? A new study spills the beans on whether telling 100% truth can make or break your bond with your partner.

“Honey, do you think I look good in this outfit?” Now that is a loaded question and it is the kind that makes partners everywhere hesitate because let’s face it, answering truthfully can feel like walking a tightrope over a pit of relationship doom. Too much honesty might offend, while a white lie could erode trust so, what is the right move?

The truth about honesty in love: Should you always tell it?(Image by Pixabay)
The truth about honesty in love: Should you always tell it?(Image by Pixabay)

The age-old debate of truth versus tact in relationships might finally have an answer, thanks to new research. Bonnie Le, an assistant professor of psychology at the University of Rochester, recently led a study examining honesty's role in romantic relationships and the findings, published in Social Psychological and Personality Science, suggest that honesty—even when it stings—is actually good for relationships in the long run.

The study: Testing truthfulness in love

Le’s team studied over 200 couples, analyzing face-to-face conversations in a lab setting where the participants were asked to discuss changes they wanted to see in their partner—conversations that had the potential to be very uncomfortable. The researchers then examined how honesty impacted personal and relationship well-being.

The days of slow courting are long gone and taken over by place, a new landscape defined by openness, honesty, and a focus on self-care.(Pexels)
The days of slow courting are long gone and taken over by place, a new landscape defined by openness, honesty, and a focus on self-care.(Pexels)

The takeaway? Honesty wins.

“We found that being more honest in expressing a desired change predicted greater personal and relationship well-being for both partners, as well as greater partner motivation to change in the moment,” said Le. In other words, while hearing the truth might be tough initially, it ultimately fosters closeness, growth and trust between partners.

Why honesty matters (even when it hurts)

Most of us value honesty in relationships but let us be real—it is not always easy to deliver. Admitting, “I wish you'd be more affectionate” or “It bothers me when you do X” can feel risky but Le’s study found that both expressing honesty and perceiving honesty in a partner have overwhelmingly positive effects.

Interestingly, even when partners were not completely accurate in perceiving each other’s honesty, the act of trying to be truthful still strengthened their relationship. “These results collectively suggest that being honest and seeing honesty in a partner can benefit relationships,” Le explained. “Even when the truth may hurt.”

Be honest: Honesty is the cornerstone of trust. Being truthful with your partner, even if it may be difficult or uncomfortable, is essential in building trust. This includes being honest about your feelings, thoughts, and actions.(Pexels)
Be honest: Honesty is the cornerstone of trust. Being truthful with your partner, even if it may be difficult or uncomfortable, is essential in building trust. This includes being honest about your feelings, thoughts, and actions.(Pexels)

The catch: What about rocky relationships?

Before you go blurting out every brutally honest thought, there is one caveat. The couples in this study were generally in stable, happy relationships and it remains to be seen whether honesty has the same positive impact for couples experiencing deep distress or conflict.

Still, the research suggests that, in most cases, honesty is not just a virtue—it is a relationship booster so, the next time your partner asks for your opinion, take a deep breath and tell the truth (kindly). After all, love thrives on trust and trust is built on honesty, even when it is uncomfortable.

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