What does child parentification looks like: Psychotherapist explains

From being the caregiver to the parents to being burdened with adult responsibilities, here are a few examples of what child parentification looks like.

When we are in our childhood, it is the role of the parents to provide emotionally and instrumentally for us. However, due to several circumstances in life, this role gets reversed. Instead, the child becomes the caregiver to the parents, and the parents learn to live within the shadow of their children. This can happen due to a lot of factors – be it addiction or physical disability of the parent or something else. Psychotherapist Emily H Sanders addressed this and wrote that there are two types of child parentification - “Emotional parentification is when the child cares for the emotional needs of the parents and/or the siblings. This can include things like offering comfort, love, or reassurance to neglected siblings or to a distraught parent, being a “listening ear” for the parent, or helping family navigate conflict. Instrumental parentification is when the child physically cares for the needs of the home; this can look like cooking, cleaning, keeping track of bills, or providing childcare for siblings.”

What does child parentification looks like: Psychotherapist explains (Unsplash)

Emily further noted down a few examples of child parentification:

Support and advice: There are situations when the child becomes the source of primary support and advice on most important things of life for the parent. This is a classic example of child parentification.

Adult world: As children, they are supposed to enjoy the small things of childhood. However, they start existing in the adult world with adult problems, and are mostly burdened with the responsibility of younger siblings.

Conflict: Child parentification also refers to when the child becomes the referee to conflicts between parents and other adult family members.

Activities: Children are often put into the daily activities of the household, with little time to enjoy for their age.

Complaints: These children are often subjected to complaints of one family member about the others, and grow up having varied perspectives about their own family.

Child parentification can affect a child adversely. “Parentified children often turn into adults who have a hard time connecting to their own feelings, struggle with guilt and self-blame, put others’ needs before their own, and continue to experience anxiety and/or depression. They may struggle to trust others, and prefer to be self-reliant. They often find they are drawn toward caregiving roles (even though they may not want to),” wrote Emily H Sanders.