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That night in Bangalore

It had been three delightful years in Bangalore. Shifting from Chandigarh, we missed the easy commute, the open spaces and the orderliness but the wonderful weather made up for all the inconveniences that the bustling city threw at us. Well, it was not about the weather alone. As a woman in my thirties, it was the respectful attitude of the average Kannadiga towards women that caught my attention. Gurvinder Kaur writes.

Updated on: Apr 23, 2013 09:16 AM IST
Hindustan Times | By
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It had been three delightful years in Bangalore. Shifting from Chandigarh, we missed the easy commute, the open spaces and the orderliness but the wonderful weather made up for all the inconveniences that the bustling city threw at us.

HT Image
HT Image


Well, it was not about the weather alone. As a woman in my thirties, it was the respectful attitude of the average Kannadiga towards women that caught my attention. Having lived in the North, especially during my growing up in the eighties in New Delhi, I had faced a regressive male mindset everyday. Catcalls, inappropriate touching and stalking were the order of the day. Bus conductors and passengers were the worst offenders. Even after shifting to Chandigarh, I learnt to brace myself for a shoulder shove or such unbecoming behaviour from the opposite sex.

The first time I walked down Bangalore's MG Road, I felt odd. Because of its unfamiliarity, the feeling of being free hit me only later. Free from unwanted attention and unfamiliar male touch! Even if a man were to brush against me, he would apologise with profuse "sorry ammas" (amma meaning a respectable woman) besides touching his ears seeking forgiveness. My respect for the Kannadiga male soared.

By now I was sweating with fear. They meant to rob me or worse! My children, husband, aged parents all needed me. I didn't want to die but I prayed to God to give me death: anything but not a fate worse than death.

Just when I had made up my mind to jump out of the taxi the minute he slowed down next, the driver turned around and spoke in broken English. "Relax amma, you getting worried, now no late. Taking short cut, long queue for check-in, you less time, there's the airport," he pointed to a row of lights. I slumped back in the seat in unbelievable relief.

Each time a sexual crime makes the headlines, my mind goes back to that night in Bangalore, immensely grateful to a culture that makes men behave like gentlemen.

 
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