Relationships can be confusing at times.(Shutterstock)
Relationships can be confusing at times.(Shutterstock)

Seriously Cyrus: No point feeling resentful; take the bull by the horns instead

Cyrus Broacha gives advice on relationships, dating and more.
By Cyrus Broacha | Hindustan Times, Delhi
UPDATED ON APR 02, 2019 06:54 PM IST

I love a girl who is also my best friend. She was in a relationship till last month. She knew about my feelings and four days ago, she proposed to me and I said yes. But now, she says that she feels that being friend she could share everything but now she is not able to do the same. Now, she wants us to remain friends. I am shattered. Please help. — VR

VR, the educated reaction to your point is exactly the stuff that comes out of a bull when he needs to evacuate his stomach. She obviously mistakes you for a four-year-old. Actually, I stand corrected, a three-year-old. She proposed to you, remember. You were simply getting along minding your own business, trying to make the world a better place by feeding the poor, and helping the underprivileged, and returning tennis balls to gulley boys playing cricket. Now she backtracks and wants to go back to “just friends”? Ridiculous. Bull-Poo, loads and loads of bull-poo. Inform her about your disappointment, and remind her all ‘this’ was her idea in the first place. No point just feeling resentment, take the er….bull…. by the horns. Do not mince your words, please.

I am a 22-year-old boy. I was in a relationship with a girl for the last year. She had confessed that she was interested in someone else and we broke up. Now, she is with that someone and I can’t see them together. What should I do to move on? — AA

AA, all this is explained by furniture expert Deepak D Dhar in his book ‘Door to Door’. Dhar explained that to prevent robbery, a front entrance should have 2 doors, one after another. With very little space to stand between the doors. The robber opens one door and is then caught in between the first & second doors. He then becomes a poor sandwich. AA, your girl has left you, (Door 1), and moved to (Door 2), the next guy. She’s stuck between two doors but is facing the new door. This means you need to open your door so that there is more space for everyone. And so that, a new girl walks into your door sooner or later like facing an exam. You just have to cop it on a chin. Face the fact, and heal from your wounds. She’s closed her door, so please keep your door open, but wear a sweater in the case of a strong breeze.

I am a 26-year-old woman. I have been in a relationship for the last five years and we are doing pretty well even now. However, my parents are not approving of our relationship whereas, his parents are total with us. How do you think should I convince my parents? They are generally not this narrow-minded. Please help. — AV

AV, the math is good. My mother always says, if you get 10 good oranges out of a total 12, then that’s a pretty good haul. Of course, our problem was our fruit wallah, was a total cheat. We’d get 7 good oranges, 4 mosambis, and one chikoo, in our hands of a dozen oranges, on an average basis, every week! You’ve got each other that’s 50%, his parents 25% total of 75%. For your parents think of Pride of Lions hunting. They separate the weak Wilder bees, wait for it to die of boredom and then feast. See, which of your parents is less extreme, and work on only that one. Get his parents to help. Once you get one to cross over, most likely the second will follow. Parents are ‘like Malai, the more you chew the softer it gets.’ (Sometimes statements don’t have to make sense, they only need to sound good).

I am a 24-year-old woman. I have been single for the longest time and have been thinking of joining the online dating scene. However, I don’t really fancy it as I prefer meeting people in an organic way. I am still confused as to how should I go with this situation. Should I join the online dating scene or should I just wait and meet people organically till I find someone suitable? — KA

First a word of caution. Before you join the online dating scenes, remember people like me are waiting for you there. KA, why can’t you do both. Explore the internet and use your ‘organic’, powers to interact in the flesh and blood. More flesh of course, and less blood though. As far as I know, at least up till today, the Govt. hasn’t threatened to revoke your ‘Aadhaar’ card if you do both. Don’t knock the internet, some of the best relationships were built there. Steve Jobs & Warren Buffet. Kim Jong Un & Donald Trump. Donald Trump & Donald Trump. You are young and single, so why not use all the arsenal at your disposal. Trust me things are much easier on dating sites at 24, rather than 64. Sometimes in life, we should use both the elevator and the stairs. (Old Chinese Proverb). (Very very old Chinese Proverb).

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