It's been close to 18 months since Manu Bhaker walked into Tokyo's Asaka Shooting Range as one of India's prime medal contenders, only to return heartbroken and empty-handed. The intervening period has seen her rekindle her love for sport before slowly clawing her way back to form. It comes as no surprise that she ended the year with a clutch of medals, including a golden hat-trick at the national shooting championships in Bhopal besides a World Championships silver (25m team
It's been close to 18 months since Manu Bhaker walked into Tokyo's Asaka Shooting Range as one of India's prime medal contenders, only to return heartbroken and empty-handed. The intervening period has seen her rekindle her love for sport before slowly clawing her way back to form. It comes as no surprise that she ended the year with a clutch of medals, including a golden hat-trick at the national shooting championships in Bhopal besides a World Championships silver (25m team women) in Cairo.
The journey post-Tokyo has been one of self-discovery for the youngster. "Earlier, if I failed to win a medal at any competition, I would be really devastated, even depressed to some extent. It's not the case anymore. I am lot more relaxed and calmer now. I have realised that the ultimate goal is to be happy in life, no matter what happens in my career. That has been one of my biggest takeaways from the biggest disappointment of my career," she said.
For all her maturity and hard-earned wisdom, the scars of Tokyo still exist. She, for instance, still can't muster the courage to revisit the daily logs she maintained during the Olympics. "I am not ready for that yet," she said.
"Not just the Olympics, I even remember the Asian Games 2018 final where I couldn't win a medal (in both 25m and 10m events). I was really frustrated and devastated. Olympics was a bigger stage and the disappointment was bigger too. I don't think you can ever move on from such failures. You have to learn to live with it."
The trick to coexist with pain though has been unlocked. "You simply have to accept and embrace the hurt," Manu said. "People change with time and I believe time changes people. The experience that I had at the Olympics changed me because despite putting in everything I could, I failed when it mattered. I won't say the scars have healed completely, but I have outgrown that pain," she mused.
Moving on has meant Manu has rung in changes in her approach and technique. She has changed her weapon for both pistol events, spent more time in the 25m range, changed the coach — she now trains with former pistol shooter Samaresh Jung — and tweaked her grip.
"I have shot a lot more in the 25m category this year because I wanted to give more time to it, and also because I couldn't make the senior side for the 10m events for a few internationals. But going forward, I'd like to shoot both events as I don't have any favourites. I just love to shoot."
"Besides the minor technical adjustments, I pay a lot of attention to my thought process before, after, and during the shots. It means I am more engaged with the sport. I run the process in my head before pulling the trigger," she explained.
It's in sharp contrast to the scrambled mind space she got herself into at the Olympics where, haunted by the apprehension of what was to follow, she couldn't catch a wink the night before her 10m event. "I tried hard to sleep but my mind kept thinking - what if something goes wrong tomorrow? I couldn't handle the pressure. Also, I got a bit defensive while shooting. Rather than focusing on shooting 10s, my focus shifted to not doing too bad," Manu recalled.
The result was a 12th-place finish in the 10m event, 15th-place in the 25m event, and seventh place in the 10m mixed team with Saurabh Chaudhary.
All that, however, is in the past now. What lies ahead is another crucial year where Manu's focus will be to get a big international win besides sealing the quota for the 2024 Paris Games. The grind begins at the national selection trials next month.
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