Hey readers,
Growing up in small-town Jamshedpur, my mother would bring me books. They were never the ones I wanted, the latest Nancy Drew or Chalet School Girls series. Instead, she’d pick unusual, hard to get into titles - The Mayor of Casterbridge, Roy Rogers and Gopher Creek Gunman and one time The Rise and Fall of the Third Reich.
Reading that mix of books changed my life in the way only books can. On Mothers Day weekend
Hey readers,
Growing up in small-town Jamshedpur, my mother would bring me books. They were never the ones I wanted, the latest Nancy Drew or Chalet School Girls series. Instead, she’d pick unusual, hard to get into titles - The Mayor of Casterbridge, Roy Rogers and Gopher Creek Gunman and one time The Rise and Fall of the Third Reich.
Reading that mix of books changed my life in the way only books can. On Mothers Day weekend here is my bookish tribute - 7 provocative books for Mothers.
Also, a conversation with Zibby Owens, creator of the award-winning Moms Don’t Have Time to Read Books Podcast.
Must-reads: Book 1 of 7
This snarky and slice-of-life book features Bernadette, a genius architect who has lost her art ever since she had her child. Where’d You Go, Bernadette is set mostly in Seattle, and is narrated by daughter Bee (who was named Balakrishna for reasons that become clear later on). If you enjoy this kind of entertaining story, you will also love I Don’t Know How She Does It by Allison Pearson.
Must-reads: Book 2 of 7
Why should mothers be made the scapegoat for society’s failings, asks Jacqueline Rose, in this impassioned and erudite book. What I like most about Mothers: An Essay on Love and Cruelty is the way Rose uses newspaper reports, policy documents, and law as well as literature to make her case. She moves from Rachel Cusk’s beautifully written On Becoming a Mother to Colm Toibin’s retelling of the Madonna myth in The Testament of Mary to Elena Ferrante's female protagonists, giving us a rich reading list & much to think about.
Must-reads: Book 3 of 7
The world’s draconian demands on motherhood show up in a striking new novel - The School for Good Mothers by Jessamine Chan. We meet single mother Frida Liu who falls afoul of child services; she’s left her toddler alone for a few hours and a neighbour complains. What follows is a chilling tale, the stuff of a The Handmaid’s Tale-like universe. Or maybe it’s just the one around us where Big Brother States make rules on motherhood. Never mind that motherhood comes in many cultural forms- illustrated by the debate on the Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother by Amy Chua.
Must-reads: Book 4 of 7
Singer Michelle Zauner writes of the complexities of her relationship with her Korean mother. Crying in H Mart is a moving memoir of her years of rebellion and resentment, followed by the aching grief of being confronted with her mother’s cancer diagnosis. And through it all the comfort, the connection and the redemption of the memory of her mother’s culinary offerings - cucumber kimchi, yellow sprouts with scallions and sesame oil, braised black soybeans, spicy seafood noodle soup.
Must-reads: Book 5 of 7
In The Name of the Mother stereotypes of the mother are seen as both constraining and liberating. Images of the mother as a goddess are used by women to survive, as happens with the single mother in the story Ma, from Dusk to Dawn. Each story sets unforgettable female characters amidst a spiderweb of social customs and superstitions to deliver scathing indictments. Translated from Bengali by Radha Chakravarty.
Must-reads: Book 6 of 7
Are You My Mother? tells the story of a bewildered baby bird going out into the world in search of her missing mother. And finally coming back to the comfort of belonging when her mother comes back. A delightful picture book that also served as inspiration for graphic novelist Alison Bechdel’s recent mother-daughter story of the same name.
Must-reads: Book 7 of 7
Motherhood is not the only path in life say the essayists in Selfish, Shallow and Self Absorbed. “We do not hate children... In fact, many of us devote quite a lot of energy to enriching the lives of other people’s children, which in turn enriches our own lives. Statistically, we are more likely to give back to our communities than people who are encumbered with small children,” says Meghan Daum in the introduction to this collection which features novelists like Lionel Shriver and Sigrid Nunez.
Moms Don’t Have Time to Read Books Podcast
Podcast creator Zibby Owens is a mom of four kids, an alumnus of Yale and Harvard Business School and also the daughter of billionaire Stephen Schwarzman, CEO of the Blackstone Group. On Mothers Day weekend Owens discusses how reading books helps moms and offers five tips to moms on how to read more. Edited excerpts of our conversation.
Tell us about your reading in your growing up years?
My mom used to take me to the library all the time as a child and refill our tote bags of books constantly, particularly in the summers at the East Hampton Library. My parents read (and still read!) all the time. They both have piles and piles of books on their bedside tables. We have rooms full of books. Plus my mom always read to me before bed.
Moms Don’t Have Time to Read Books - what a fabulous name for a podcast! Did you spend a long time thinking about this or was there a moment when it happened?
Actually, it happened by mistake! I had been writing a bunch of parenting essays. My husband said to me one night, “You should really take all your parenting essays and make them into a book.” I rolled my eyes and replied, “Moms don’t have time to read books!” Then I giggled and said, “Actually that’s perfect. That can be the name of my book!” Well, apparently people in the publishing space didn’t find that title funny. So I put the book proposal aside. Meanwhile, a friend told me, “You should really start a podcast.” I went home, researched various podcasts, and then decided I could use that funny title as the name of a podcast instead. And that’s how it started.
What in your opinion is responsible for the spectacular success of Moms Don’t Have Time to Read Books?
I think I tapped into an issue that no one had really identified or addressed before. But as a busy mom myself, I knew that struggle very well. (I remember propping up a novel called Z by Theresse Anne Fowler on my breast pump and reading while I pumped!) I really think that moms often get overlooked in terms of how much intellectual horsepower they have.
Do you feel having studied business has helped you build a better books venture?
Yes, actually. It’s funny because when I was getting my MBA at Harvard Business School, I was basically just trying not to fail out. I had lost my best friend and college roommate on 9/11 which was right when I’d gotten to school. I was absolutely devastated and in my haze of grief and shock, I struggled. It’s the first time I’d ever really felt lost in an academic environment. But now that I’ve built this media company, with a podcast network, a magazine, a publishing house, and even an awards show, I see how valuable some of that information really was. It all sunk in. It definitely helped. But I will say, I stayed home with my kids for eleven years. My story is just proof that it is possible to get back into a career after feeling so hopelessly off track.
What are the books you are currently reading at the moment?
I’m reading Emma Straub’s This Time Tomorrow, James Patterson by James Patterson, Emily Henry’s Book Lovers, and Tiffanie Drayton’s Black American Refugee.
Do you enjoy audiobooks?
I listen to audiobooks while walking around New York City, while driving the kids around, particularly in the summer for camp drop-offs and pick-ups, and doing the endless piles of laundry like that one favourite pair of leggings my daughter needs the next day. One of my favourite recent audiobooks was Jennifer E. Smith’s The Unsinkable Greta James.
How do moms benefit from reading?
Moms, for the most part, are stressed out, exhausted, and burning the candle at both ends. We take care of everyone and everything. But it has its costs. Some of the advice for moms is to focus more on self-care. Articles urge us to go to yoga, meditate, or take a bath! Relax! But honestly, that feels impossible. Who has the time?! With reading, you can literally open up a book and immediately be immersed in another reality. It’s like magic. And so efficient. It transports. It educates. It increases those empathetic impulses. Reading keeps us intellectually engaged and emotionally moved. Book clubs create a community. Reading the same book connects us all.
Any tips on how moms can read more?
One, pick a book you can’t wait to read. If that means you select a graphic novel or a steamy romance novel or a crass humour book or whatever, just read it. There is no judgment. Don’t feel pressured to read the latest literary novel.
Two, pack a book in your tote/purse so you can read in the stolen moments of the day. Waiting for the bus. While the pasta water boils. Having the book there as a physical reminder will encourage you to pick the book when have a few free minutes instead of grabbing your phone and going back on Instagram.
Three, always have an audiobook downloaded. Listen when you’re walking, driving, folding laundry, cooking dinner, or organizing.
Four, join a book club or make a plan with a close friend to read the same book by a certain date. Try Zibby’s Virtual Book Club! Also, listen to bookish podcasts like mine.
Five, don’t be hard on yourself. If you don’t finish a book, it’s okay. You can just move on to the next.
And finally your four favourite books on mothers and children for Mothers Day?
For children: My new book Princess Charming about a girl who just can’t seem to find her thing and then realizes that her “thing” is that she doesn’t give up. Also Always With You, Always With Me by Kelly Rowland about a mom who travels often for work yet finds ways to show her love even when she’s gone.
For grown-ups: Carla Naumburg’s How to Stop Losing Your S**t with Your Kids. And Amy Shah, M.D.’s I’m So Effing Tired: A Proven Plan to Beat Burnout, Boost Your Energy, and Reclaim Your Life.
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That’s all the reading for this week! Next week, we travel to Chicago to look at notable Chicago books and at architecture books in general. And also talk to architect authors Snehanshu Mukherjee and Anisha Shekhar Mukherji on why architects should read murder mysteries.
Until then, happy reading!
Sonya Dutta Choudhury is a Mumbai-based journalist and the founder of Sonya’s Book Box, a bespoke book service. Each week she brings you specially curated books to give you an immersive understanding of people and places. If you have suggestions on how to improve these, write to her at sonyasbookbox@gmail.com. She will do her best to reply soon.
The views expressed are personal
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