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Spice of Life | Neighbours by chance, life friends by choice
The wise always take into account the other side of things and are not selfish. They are also willing to make sacrifices and forego transgressing and intruding. Fools though will act like swashbucklers and bullies, writes Rajbir Deswal
In the Indian way of life, one isn’t supposed to be just friendly with a neighbour or be good to him/her, but follow the “padosi dharma (the righteous path)”.
In the Mahabharata, Rishi Vyas says, “He conquers the world, who patiently puts up with the abuse of his neighbours.” And poet Robert Frost believes, “Good fences make good neighbours” though adding that, “My apple trees will never get across and eat the cones under his pines.”
Proximity entails protocol that is mutually sustainable. It obtains both ways, harmonious and acrimonious. It depends on either side on how they interact to make their living better or worse. The wise always take into account the other side of things and are not selfish. They are also willing to make sacrifices and forego overlapping, encroaching, transgressing or intruding. Fools though will act like swashbucklers and bullies.
The other day, my neighbour, an army officer, came calling, along with his wife. The couple settled down in our drawing room a bit shyly. The visit was sudden and there wasn’t any occasion like Diwali or New Year when we generally meet up and exchange pleasantries.
“Sir, please bear with us for three days. We plan to have the small green belt in front of our house converted into a cemented parking space,” the good colonel said and continued, “The work may cause some noise for which we seek your kind permission. Apologies in advance.”
We were floored by his gesture. It reinforced our good neighbourly ties.
I heard another heart-warming account from my son living in the US. They have a septuagenarian woman living alone in their neighbourhood. She is always seen tending plants in her backyard. One day she came to my son’s house and said, “If you don’t mind, may I share some vegetables I grow at your doorstep, without disturbing you? They are in abundance and enough to be spared.”
For people, particularly the elderly who have their children staying away, the neighbourhood is a support system available for any kind of emergency or even for day-to-day social sustenance.
Once while travelling to London via Moscow, we had a couple of reporters from Pakistan sitting next to our table during a layover at the airport. Beef slices were being served for breakfast when one of the reporters asked his friend if he wouldn’t treat himself with beef. “No, I eat beef, but since the people sitting next to our table are from our neighbouring country, India, and since a majority of them don’t eat beef, I would refrain from partaking of it in their presence.”
I rose from my seat and shook hands with my Pakistani friend in gratitude and a feeling of oneness in appreciating neighbourly ties, if not anything else.
The Panchkula-based author is a retired IPS officer and an advocate. He can be reached at rajbirdeswal@hotmail.com.
