Malavika’s Mumbaistan: Mumbai Kiski Hai?

This week Mumbai, followed by Delhi has made it to the ‘Ten most unfriendly -to -non-natives city’s list, led by Accra in Ghana and Marrakech in Morocco.

So, the truth is out. And boy, does it hurt. This week Mumbai, followed by Delhi has made it to the ‘Ten most unfriendly -to -non-natives city’s list, led by Accra in Ghana and Marrakech in Morocco!

Malavika’s Mumbaistan: Mumbai Kiski Hai?

What ignominy; such shame. And to think we Mumbaikers have been patting ourselves on the back and going around with smug expressions for so long, thinking we were the cat’s whiskers. And who can forget all those spurious phrases we’ve brandished for years: ‘Mumbai Meri Jaan’, and ‘Mumbai Meri Hai’ and ‘Salaam Mumbai’ and whatnot.

And of course, all those allusions to the alleged ‘spirit of Mumbai’ that we’ve touted; those stories of sentimental tripe about friendly taxi drivers, honest strangers and kind neighbours that we trot out every so often to make ourselves feel good and virtuous.

Poof: Ever since a survey by an online tutoring and language lessons platform was published this week, in which 53 cities across the world were evaluated on six key metrics to determine their friendliness or un-friendliness to non-natives (read: outsiders) the bubble has burst. Those surveyed consisted of 1,000 people from around the world who had lived in at least one of the 50 cities and the criteria they evaluated had included: visitor return rates; safety ratings; LGBTQIA+ equality; overall happiness; ease of communication through a common language, and the friendliness of staff.

In the face of this disgrace, perhaps it would not be out of turn to examine why on earth we Mumbaikers thought we inhabited one of the friendliest cities in the world, in the first place.

The prime culprit in spreading this canard- like in most other things -appears to be Mumbai’s film industry. Lyricists, musicians, auteurs and actors after all are a sentimental breed, notorious for viewing the world through rose-tinted glasses and perhaps in the Fifties and Sixties their ardour could not help casting Mumbai’s beaches and sea shore, crowded through-fares fares and busy streets, in a romantic hue.

Thus, viewed through the lens of their affection, and amplified by the silver screen’s influence, Mumbai’s warmth, openness and welcoming nature assumed mythical proportions.

But of course, we were wrong. So very wrong.

***

The first criteria of the survey in which Mumbai fared badly was the issue of safety. Yes, relative to cities in the North like Delhi, people- especially women are said to feel safer in Mumbai. But with spine-chilling evidence to the contrary, coming in daily, Mumbai’s safety quotient might not be its strong suit anymore.

As for LGBTQIA+ equality, for a city the size and significance of Mumbai, there is an abysmal failure in this regard: unlike its peers such as New York and Paris, Mumbai does not possess safe places like bars and clubs where the LGBTQIA+ community can feel at ease and welcome.

The next criteria which brings Mumbai its disgraceful rating on the list is: overall happiness. Things like clean air, blue skies, bird song and green spaces. Affordable housing and good public transport and opportunities for relaxation and leisure. Can we honestly swear that Mumbai would score high on any of these matrix?

Not a hope in hell?

That’s what I thought.

***

Safety, LGBTQIA+ compliance and overall happiness might have been the expected stumbling blocks that Mumbai ran up against in its popularity stakes but what about the next three criteria: ease of communication through a common language, the friendliness of staff and visitor return rates, surely Mumbai prided itself on being adept in these departments. Didn’t all of us speak a reasonable level of English? Wasn’t Mumbai’s tapori Hindi a celebrated patois on its own? And as far as friendliness of staff is concerned, weren’t our bus conductors, shop keepers, street vendors and restaurant managers and waiters the most chatty and charming?

What about the visitor return rate? Remember the second you –an insider-returning from a foreign trip had stepped into the hot, chaotic, assailing sights, smells and sounds of Mumbai. Would you really put yourself through that stomach churning experience that even you an insider felt when assailed by Mumbai’s sights, sounds and smells when you stepped out of its airport?

***

As someone who calls Mumbai her home, I would be lying if I said I did not feel pained upon learning of Mumbai’s abysmal ratings on the world’s friendliest cities list. Like most who consider themselves die hard Mumbaikers, I would like to believe that in spite of its mess and mean streets, its mayhem and madness, the one thing that Mumbai had going for it was its inclusive, welcoming nature.

Of course we’d all hear stories of landlords not renting to ethnic and religious minorities, of course we have witnessed unrest and violence on account of us and them issues, of course we’ve heard of discrimination in neighbourhoods and colonies against minorities and know of the heartless, soulless, inhabitations and lonely angst-ridden lives of Mumbai’s migrant workers and immigrants -but most of us believed that those were the exceptions –not the rule.

Which is why I have taken this high rating on the world’s unfriendliest cities so personally. All of us who love and owe this city so much, ought to. Without non -natives wanting to visit, stay , engage, do business with and regard Mumbai and its people, all the expensive real estate, investments enterprises and businesses and dreams and hopes we who live here and daily toil for, will be wasted and ultimately wither away.

But all is not lost. If more of us sit up and do what we can to ensure that Mumbai is never put on such an infamous list and we become a friendly, inclusive, welcoming city to outsiders- we can turn the tide.

Which is more than you can say for Delhi. Apparently, when Delhiites were informed of their poor ratings on the same list, they responded with “ Fake news. India’s enemies are spreading these lies…”