'I'd worry about my children, money. How am I going to pay mortgage?': Ex-England star opens up on mental health battle

It's never an easy task to cope with the demands of being a professional and many cricket stars have prioritised their mental health over the game.

England all-rounder Ben Stokes looked up to the heavens to celebrate his ton against the West Indies in the second Test in Barbados. He gave a crooked finger salute in a tribute to his late father, Ged, who passed away due to brain cancer in September 2020. Stokes has had his fair share of struggles, which even made him take a break from the sport last year. It was also linked with the demands of living in a Covid-19 bubble that took a toll on his mental health.

England players celebrate the dismissal of Jacques Kallis (Getty Images)

It's never an easy task to cope with the demands of being a professional and many cricket stars have prioritised their mental health over the game. While some players have faced the issue during their playing days, a few have had a tough period after calling it quits. Former England international Ryan Sidebottom, who represented England between 2001 and 2010, has also opened up about the mental health problems after taking up retirement from the sport.

Sidebottom felt a "huge void" without the schedule and the financial element also kicked in after regular income from cricket got halted. The 44-year-old Yorkshire-born pacer also revealed that he used to worry about children and money, and would eventually end up getting angry and agitated at times.

"I had days where there was massive self-sabotage. I would dwell on the past, worry about the future. I'd worry about my children, money. How am I going to pay the mortgage? How am I going to house my wife, my children? What's my next step in life? And I'd have days where I would just be angry, agitated. That would have been in the morning and then in the afternoon I'd be really emotional and I wouldn't know why," Sidebottom told the BBC.

Sidebottom retired from international cricket in 2010. He announced in 2017 that he would be retiring from first-class cricket in all formats, commencing at the end of the County Championship.

Sidebottom, who was also a part of England's T20 World Cup-winning squad in 2010, credited his wife and friends for helping him go through the "dark days". He underlined talking things through with people and getting them off his chest.

"I'd be frustrated with my wife, frustrated internally, and I'd have lots of horrible feelings. I wasn't sleeping very well because of every negative thought about the past, the future. They've really struggled mentally and it's nice that I can speak about it and put it out there and say, 'look, it's OK not to be OK."

“Talking really, really helps. I've been very fortunate to have my wife and some very close friends who have really helped me through those dark days and those horrible feelings, just to talk things through and get it off my chest,” he elaborated.