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'Handed the machine back to trainer. How could I tell him I won't use it anymore?': Dhoni's last day as India cricketer
MS Dhoni officially announced his retirement on August, 15, 2020 but in his heart had walked away on the day India lost their 2019 World Cup semifinal.
MS Dhoni may have announced his retirement on August 15, 2020 but those who were present at the Old Trafford Cricket Stadium in Manchester on July 10, 2019, the day of India's World Cup semifinal defeat to New Zealand, knew it was time. The way he made that long walk back to the change room – his face down the whole time – the entire media box on its toes and applauding the great man, you knew it was the last the world had seen of Dhoni in India colours. In one of the most dramatic endings to an international and decorated career, Dhoni, primed to pull off one final finish, fell short getting out for 50. A career that had begun 15 years ago with a run-out, ended in another, resulting in a heartbreak some Indian cricket fans are yet to come to terms with.
Over the following 13 months, Dhoni disappeared from the cricket scene. He wasn't part of India's squads for the West Indies tour or the bilateral series against South Africa and Sri Lanka at home. Though he was initially set to represent the Chennai Super Kings in the IPL, the tournament's rescheduled September start due to the Covid-19 pandemic, pushed back his return. With the entire nation eagerly awaiting to see if another season with CSK would pave the way for his return to the Indian team, Dhoni finally disclosed his retirement on Independence Day. However, in his heart, he had already decided to step away from international cricket after India's World Cup exit.
"It gets difficult to control your emotions when you have lost a close game. And inside, I had made my entire planning. To me, that was the last day I played cricket for India. I took retirement a year later but the fact is that, that day I had retired. We cricketers are given certain machines and all of that. So everytime I went to the trainer I gave it back to him. He said 'No you keep it. And in my mind, I am like 'how do I tell him I won't be needing or using it anymore'. I didn't want to announce it at that point in time," Dhoni said during an event.
Once I quit cricket, there was no way I could represent India: Dhoni's big realisation
Retirements are never easy for a cricketer, particularly for those whose entire lives have revolved around the sport since their formative years. Hence, as expected, in Dhoni's case, this realisation took some time to sink in. India's greatest white-ball captain – the only one in history to win all three major ICC tournaments, let alone in a span of six years – had ridden off into the sunset. Everything he had achieved is now a thing of the past, and while the world would still get to witness his genius in the IPL, Dhoni's India career was over.
"You are high on emotions. The only thing you've done in the last 12-15 years is play cricket. And then there is no more chance of you representing the country. There are so many people but only few get that opportunity. And sportspersons, they have that. Irrespective of which sport you play, you are representing your country. Be it Commonwealth Games, Olympics. So once I quit cricket, there was no way I could do that. I could no longer bring any glory. All those things are going on in mind," mentioned Dhoni.
