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What goes of your father?

And I’ll give you some relief…. err… that is, provided, I’m not doing a headstand at the time.

entertainment Updated: May 14, 2012 13:32 IST
Hindustan Times

And I’ll give you some relief…. err… that is, provided, I’m not doing a headstand at the time.

I am 24 and have been staying in Mumbai for the last two-years. I stay with a family who has rented me one of their rooms. It’s a small family consisting of a young boy, husband and wife. I work five days a week and usually I’m home on weekends. Some time around last year, I noticed a young man visiting the house on Saturdays.

At first I thought it was a family friend. Then once I saw him even on a weekday when I was unwell and had stayed home. I’ve realised that this woman is cheating on her husband, who looks like a nice person to me. I want to tell him the truth, but I’m scared he may believe his wife’s lies and throw me out of the house. What do I do Cy?

Dear XYZ, haven’t you heard the saying translated from ancient Euripides manuscripts: ‘mind your own business, don’t mind mine, kiss your own sweetheart and don’t kiss mine’? Unless the man is a very good friend, what business is it to you? Or as Emerson most brilliantly put it, ‘what goes of your father?’. Yours is strictly a business arrangement, so kindly mind your own business.

I’ve been in love with a friend since school. I am 30 and still single, while she is 26 and has had at least five love affairs so far. I’ve heard that she broke up with her most recent boyfriend. I’ve always been shy and never raked up the courage to tell her the truth. How do I start with it? Please help
— Lover Boy

What’s your hurry lover boy? Why don’t you wait until you’re sixty to make a move? Frankly, your lack of dynamism mirrors our government. Let me do the math for you. She’s single and you like her and you’ve waited for years. Start making your move or you will land up like L.K. Advani almost, but not quite Prime Minister.

Hi, I am a 19-year-old boy. I am in love with my neighbour’s wife, who is 29-years old. Her husband seems to have a drab personality while this woman is vivacious. I secretly watch her every time she enters or leaves the building. She too has given me intense glances sometimes. I also have a girlfriend. But should I go ahead and try my luck with the neighbour's wife?
— Sean D’Sa

So you want me to endorse and confirm your right to cheat? For a certain remuneration, I’m willing to do that. But the right thing to do would be to break up with your girlfriend before you move on to other ventures. But I’ve given up telling people that! Worst-case scenario, you get beaten up by her husband, lose your girlfriend and become the laughing stock of your colony. But then again, you decide…. are you feeling lucky tonight?

Hi, I am a 27-year old woman who has been in a stable live-in relationship for the past five years. Our love life is not really exciting or romantic (actually it’s very boring) since we both keep busy, but we find each other’s company very convenient as we’ve grown used to it. Recently, I met an interesting guy who was interested in me too. We started off as being friends but I have fallen in love with each other. But I feel very guilty. Should I risk my comfortable life to be with this new person?
— N Sridhar

This is the easiest question since God asked man “should we keep Sunday?” You are bored with your man. You have found somebody else. This is a ‘time-waste’ type question. I can answer it in one line but thanks to your ridiculously easy question I have to write a few more lines just to keep my editor happy. So Sri just in order to use more writing space I’ll answer you again: pay attention, it’s time to move on…

Just write to uncle cy

First Published: May 14, 2012 12:28 IST