All is fair in love

The ultimate winner takes it all. Camilla has come through a three-decade-old coaster ride. And what was her sin, asks Vijay Dutt.

The Royal wedding at Windsor was over in just 25 minutes. The newly married middle-aged couple flew within hours to Scotland for their honeymoon after having co-habited for over three decades. The wedding itself was a rather thumbed down affair, so it is no wonder that the people and the media lost all interest in them within 48 hours after their big day on April 9.

Asians, who usually expect ethics and morality in other people, were in any case never enthused about the wedding. They wondered why the two wished to marry, both having their own set of children and who were living together, without any neighbours complaining about their living in sin. But royalists insisted that Royals must set a good example to their subject.

The subjects, however, do think much of martial ties, one in four divorce within three or four years. They would have cared the least whether their future king lived in sin or got married. The fact however is that the Prince must not be criticised for making his long-time mistress an honest woman. The only snag is that in this case the woman is the one who everyone believes broke up Charles's marriage with Diana. The animosity towards her is because she is seen as a marriage-wrecker.

Polls suggest that most approved of the marriage. But an overwhelming majority does not want her to be the Queen. Personally, I believe she will be Queen. The people here are not forgiving kinds but there is I suspect a touch of masochism in them. They like contraventions and controversies so they can rave and rant.

I will give the example of the London Mayor Ken Livingston. When he mooted the idea of congestion charge of £5 for motorists going into central London, there was a major uproar. High street stores and restaurant owners and other businesses said they would be ruined.

But the charge was imposed. Businesses have not been wiped out but they suffered badly. So when the election of the mayor came up late last year, everyone expected Livingston to face ouster. But what happened? He won with great majority and now he intends to raise the congestion charge to £8 from June. No one is saying anything. So you see my point.

When the time comes for Charles to ascend the throne, I can bet Camilla will be anointed as the Queen. All the current critics would throng the Mall to see the new King and the Queen wave at them from the balcony of Buckingham Palace. No one will boo, no one will recall that once a pretty young woman was kissed by a dashing young prince ages ago on the same balcony.

The ultimate winner takes it all. Camilla has come through a three-decade-old coaster ride. And what was her sin? She only made life miserable for Diana, the woman who married Camilla's love of life. And we all know all is fair in love and war.

French guide to the English

I found it hilarious. But my advice to all my people back home is, if you are coming to England for the first time please do not come via Paris. But even if you do, please do not pick up the latest French guide on what to expect once you are here. You may, if you are coming for fun, even decide to change your plan and fly over Britain to go to the US or turn to the other direction and go to Berlin or Brussels.

The English have been portrayed by Agnes Catherine Poirier in her book Les Nouveaux Anglais as a binge-drinking, pet-obsessed, race which still leads the world in pop music, humour but dresses with dubious taste and treats sex as a subject of national embarrassment.

Old-fashioned pubs are fast disappearing he has noted, which in fact is true. She devotes whole sections to English obsessions-class prejudice, pets, queuing, the weather, tabloids and bingo-but is at her most abrasive when dealing with attitudes to sex. " No sex, please we are British" is a big chapter which begins with," Let us be charitable and put ourselves in the place of our poor British friends." How can there be passion, she wonders in a country, where silicone enhanced breasts and bottoms are paraded in the press "without an ounce of eroticism" and where Kama Sutra has been legally sold only since 1963.

She feels that sex here has been turned into exercises like yoga and jogging. There could be no worse indictment and that too coming from a Woman in Paris.

In Windsor

When an eight-year-old boy standing along the road Charles and Camilla were to pass to go to the civil wedding ceremony at Guildhall was asked what he had come to see, he said," I have come to see William." He was not joking.