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Are you too willing to change?

Do you want your relationship to be like your checkbook: super sorted and balanced or are you a defiant dater? Take this quiz and find out...

india Updated: May 23, 2010 00:43 IST
Hindustan Times

If you’re in a relationship and a friend asks you to hang out on a random Tuesday, you’d likely reply with:
(a) Just assume I’m free.
(b) I need to see what ‘we’re’ doing. If my man has other plans, I’m in!
(c) I’ll check my schedule, but that sounds great.

When you ask your man if he likes your high-waisted jeans, he admits he thinks they’re a little weird. You:
Keep them, but wear them mostly to work.
(b) Sport them on your next date. Who is he, the fashion police?
(c) Return them for a pair of low-rises.

When you discover that a new guy you’re dating has political views that oppose yours, you:
(a) Ask him to detail why. He probably knows something you don’t.
(b) Say: I love that you’re so passionate about your opinion. And that you appreciate how passionate I am about mine.
(c) Go on a tirade that his opinion doesn’t have an ice cube’s chance of surviving in the real world.

If your friends were asked about your MO in a relationship, they’d say:
(a) She’s still alive? We were about to file a missing-person’s report.
(b) She actually makes more time for us — she’s paranoid we’ll think she’s becoming one of those girls who can’t do without her guy.
(c) They do lots of couples’ stuff, but girls’ nights never fall to the wayside.

Your guy is offered a great job in another city. You:
Make him pass. Your bond should come first, and you’re staying put.
(b) Do the long-distance thing — at least for the short term. Then you’ll take it from there.
(c) Quit your job, break your lease, and make the move with him.

If you strike 3 or more (a)
Give-and-take girl:
You want a relationship to be like your checkbook: super sorted and balanced. You won’t change core values, like your political beliefs or your ideologies for a man. But you yield when it’s reasonable and are unfazed when, say, your guy doesn’t get your stylish pants. Meeting him halfway on big decisions, like vacation locales, makes you feel like you’re cooperating, and not conceding in your relationship with him.

If you strike 3 or more (b)
Defiant dater:
Romancing you is like running with the bulls: Better get out of your way or there’s going to be carnage! However, at the end of the day, ramrodding your opinions is a defense mechanism that can cripple your bond. While it’s important to stand up for yourself when you feel a legitimate need to do so, successful relationships require joint decisions. If you put his happiness first on small stuff, like where to go for dinner, without demanding something in return, you won’t lose your sense of self. Your bond will only get stronger!

If you strike 3 or more (c)
Malleable Mate:
You think that if you stay glued to your guy 24/7 and bail on your friends, he won’t get away. Strangely, when you start compromising for his affection, you alter the DNA of the union. He fell for you, the individual, so when he suggests plans you don’t like, have the guts to say, ‘I’m not really into that. Let’s do this instead.’ Any guy worth your time will appreciate your opinion.

Courtesy: Cosmopolitan India

First Published: May 22, 2010 17:02 IST