Like millions of other teenagers across India, my teenage niece packed her bags and headed out to college last week. Hitee has always been an academic star, but I am guessing that she headed for the portals of Ashoka University with the same combination of apprehension and excitement that I did when I entered Loreto College to study English literature so many moons ago.
As the pictures of her campus, her new room, her classmates began inundating the family WhatsApp group, I began thinking about my own college years and what I wish I had done – and not done – during that period of my life. Of course, everybody’s college experience is unique. But here, in no particular order of importance, are some things that I wish I had known as I studied for my Honours degree.
- Worrying about your gradesduring this period is the default position for almost everyone. And for naturally competitive people like Hitee and me, it is almost second nature to study obsessively so that we score over everyone else. But looking back now, I wish I had spent less time in the college library and more time in the common room having fun. Yes, it’s true that getting a good rank in your finals matters when you head out to the real world looking for a job. But it’s equally true that in a few years’ time, nobody cares or asks about what you scored in your exams – and the odds are that you don’t remember either. So, why spend every waking moment agonising about something that won’t even matter in the long run?
- It’s not your marks that are for life; it’s your friends.And this is the time when you make friends for life. There is an intensity to college friendships that is difficult, if not impossible, to replicate in later life. Which is why college friends eventually become your 3 am friends. And why, no matter how long you lose touch with a college mate, you can pick up effortlessly from where you left off. The trick is to keep yourself open to friendships with a wide and diverse group. Don’t restrict yourself to people who are just like you; seek out those who have had very divergent life experiences. This is the best way of enriching your own life, both now and in the future.
- Don’t worry about being a ‘Cool Girl’ (or boy)or whatever the kids are calling it these days. It may seem like a big deal to be in with the hip crowd right now, but trust me, it’s not worth the bother. You don’t have to change yourself to fit in with any group – and any group that requires you to do so is not worth joining. So, wear what you like, eat what you want, listen to the music of your choice, watch your own kind of shows, and pay no attention to the ‘trendies’ mocking you.
- But most of all, have fun.Have fun learning new things. Have fun meeting new people. Have fun discovering what you are good at. Have fun working out what you are becoming. And above all, have fun being yourself – because everyone else is taken.