Why can't people commit in a situationship? Expert explains the reasons behind casual dating and ways to build trust

Often people in situationships struggle with commitment, expert shares the reasons lurking behind the casual fun.

Situationships are very popular in the dating world. It refers to a type of casual relationship where two people are romantically involved but avoid fully committing or defining the relationship with definitive labels like ‘girlfriend’ or ‘boyfriend.’ It’s a strange limbo that is devoid of emotional attachment, promises or commitment. On the surface, it may seem like ‘testing the waters’ or just trying things out, but there’s more than meets the eye.

Situationship is all about being romantically involved without any commitment. (Shutterstock)

In an interview with HT, Dr Sajeela Maini, Senior Consultant Psychologist at Sir Ganga Ram Hospital in New Delhi, explained why people are hesitant to commit.

Understanding Situationship

It's all cool and fun without the pressure of any promises. (Shutterstock)

Dr Maini explained more about situationship and said, “A situationship often begins casually, where two people engage in physical and emotional intimacy without discussing the future. It can be fun and low-pressure in the early stages, as there’s no expectation of long-term commitment. Unlike traditional relationships, situationships often lack clear definitions or long-term intentions. However, this freedom often comes with its own set of challenges and emotional vulnerability.”

Understanding the reason behind Situationship

However cool one may try to play it off, every decision and choice has a well-thought-out reason. It may seem apparent that Gen Z is spontaneous and cool, which is why they pursue casual connections, but there are more reasons that may not be immediately apparent.

Dr Maini listed the key reasons and gave detailed breakdowns to understand the reasons behind situationship:

Fear of vulnerability and rejection

One key reason for the rise of situationships is fear—fear of vulnerability, rejection, or losing independence. In a world that values individual freedom and self-fulfillment, commitment can feel like a threat to personal autonomy.

Instant gratification and disposable connections

Modern dating is often influenced by a culture of instant gratification and disposable connections, which can make long-term commitment seem less appealing. The prevalence of dating apps, which provide endless options, also fosters a paradox of choice. Many individuals hesitate to commit, worried they might miss out on someone better.

Past experiences and emotional protection

People who have been hurt in previous relationships may resist commitment to protect themselves from future pain. The fear of repeating past mistakes can lead to a reluctance to fully invest in a new connection.

Changing Societal Norms

Societal norms have shifted, and the traditional timeline of courtship, marriage, and family has given way to more flexible arrangements. This shift leaves many individuals to navigate uncharted waters in their romantic lives.

How to commit

Developing commitment strengthens the relationship. (Shutterstock)

Commitment may seem intimidating. But it is possible. Dr Maini shared three fundamental tips in detail on how one can build commitment:

1. Open Communication

The first step is clarity. Open communication about intentions and expectations is crucial to avoid misunderstandings. Defining the relationship doesn’t have to be intimidating; it can be as simple as discussing what each person wants and how they see the connection evolving.

2. Trust

Trust is another cornerstone of commitment. This requires consistency, honesty, and reliability. When both partners feel safe and valued, they are more likely to invest emotionally in the relationship.

3. Personal growth

Commitment starts with the willingness to confront one’s fears and insecurities. Therapy, self-reflection, or seeking advice from trusted friends can help individuals understand their patterns and make healthier choices.

She further concluded, “While situationships may offer temporary convenience, they often leave people longing for more. By embracing vulnerability and fostering trust, individuals can move beyond uncertainty and create relationships that stand the test of time.”

Situationships may seem like a carefree way to evade commitment and conceal deeper issues lurking beneath the surface. As Dr. Maini mentioned about personal growth and confronting insecurities, it's essential to look within and introspect.

Disclaimer: This article is for informational purposes only and not a substitute for professional medical advice. Always seek the advice of your doctor with any questions about a medical condition.