Seven types of people you’ll see at hipster flea markets

Selfie-takers, influencers, snooty socialites and anxious aunts in the wrong place — people-gazing is fun at the new flea markets.

Snooty socialites:

Dressed to the nines, wine glass in hand, greeting similarly dressed wineglass-holders, they’re here to see and be seen. Ask questions like, ‘What’s the threadcount’ and ‘Do you ship to Milan’? But when it comes time to pay, start bargaining like it’s Sarojini Nagar.

Influencers:

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They’re self-appointed celebrities and expect to be treated like the real thing. Usually preceded by nose in the air, airbrushed hair and personal cameraperson. They can actually help the brands with a single post, so organisers treat them like a necessary evil. Can be seen leaving with bags of swag, “before it gets too crowded and we get recognised, Priti!”.

Selfie-takers:

The unwritten rules

Flea markets are known for a relaxed vibe, so don’t expect a fashion event. It will most likely be hot and crowded, the food will be messy, the band will be uneven and the only place to sit will most likely be the grass. Dress and adjust your expectations accordingly.

Brands tend to bring the best of their collections to showcase, because this is where they can best expand their niche or online base. Expect a few select pieces per brand, ones that best tell their story.

It’s generally considered bad form to bargain. You have a better chance of having the price lowered if you strike up a conversation with the seller, express admiration for the product, and explain why you can’t afford it at its existing price.

Don’t treat it like a supermarket. Sellers are going to want to tell you their story, explain why they chose this journey. It’s considered polite to make the time to listen. They don’t mind if you don’t buy, so don’t be intimidated by prices. And if you do buy, they want you to go away with a story as well as an object.

Take it all with a pinch of salt, but don’t say so. The organic may not be organic, the sustainable may be barely so. But there’s effort and heart that’s gone into the philosophy, branding and design.

It’s a rare flea market that doesn’t have a colourful, over-the-top selfie corner or two. So many drop by just for the #WeekendBliss photographs, and maybe a quirky snack. They move in packs and stop every few metres, to pose. The selfie zones at least help keep them contained.

Newbies:

One gentleman in Kolkata stopped by at a Shuffling Suitcases event to buy suitcases and was annoyed they didn’t have any. Others may come expecting mainstream designers, and look very disappointed when they’re told there is no Charles & Keith stall.

Anxious aunts:

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They’re looking for ‘special fabrics, beta, not this cotton’. Also, clothes and accessories for their niece’s wedding trousseau. They move in packs, wear a lot of bling and can’t understand why the saris don’t sparkle (and are instead covered in stripes… what, beta?).

Helicopter designers:

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They won’t stop talking, about their product line, their journey, their passion. By the time you’re done browsing, you know their life story, the name of their childhood pet (also the name of the product line; ”We’ll never forget our Trinny”). But then this is part of what you go to a flea market for – the personal touch.

Self-styled Heston Blumenthals:

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Nothing will taste as you expect. A fried egg will turn out to be a custard-y dessert. Cupcakes will turn out to be bacon pies topped with sour cream dip; waffles might contain paneer tikka. The menu is a sample of oddities but the enthusiasm is infectious.

Hippies:

Heard the term ‘flea market’ and bounded over. Now they feel compelled to clarify that they’re anti-capitalist, and if you hang around they’ll explain exactly why. Keep muttering, ‘it’s sad how things have changed’. Wish they hadn’t come but will stay for the music.