Seven types of people you’ll see at hipster flea markets

Selfie-takers, influencers, snooty socialites and anxious aunts in the wrong place — people-gazing is fun at the new flea markets.

Snooty socialites:

Dressed to the nines, wine glass in hand, greeting similarly dressed wineglass-holders, they’re here to see and be seen. Ask questions like, ‘What’s the threadcount’ and ‘Do you ship to Milan’? But when it comes time to pay, start bargaining like it’s Sarojini Nagar.

Influencers:

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They’re self-appointed celebrities and expect to be treated like the real thing. Usually preceded by nose in the air, airbrushed hair and personal cameraperson. They can actually help the brands with a single post, so organisers treat them like a necessary evil. Can be seen leaving with bags of swag, “before it gets too crowded and we get recognised, Priti!”.

Selfie-takers:

It’s a rare flea market that doesn’t have a colourful, over-the-top selfie corner or two. So many drop by just for the #WeekendBliss photographs, and maybe a quirky snack. They move in packs and stop every few metres, to pose. The selfie zones at least help keep them contained.

Newbies:

One gentleman in Kolkata stopped by at a Shuffling Suitcases event to buy suitcases and was annoyed they didn’t have any. Others may come expecting mainstream designers, and look very disappointed when they’re told there is no Charles & Keith stall.

Anxious aunts:

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They’re looking for ‘special fabrics, beta, not this cotton’. Also, clothes and accessories for their niece’s wedding trousseau. They move in packs, wear a lot of bling and can’t understand why the saris don’t sparkle (and are instead covered in stripes… what, beta?).

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They won’t stop talking, about their product line, their journey, their passion. By the time you’re done browsing, you know their life story, the name of their childhood pet (also the name of the product line; ”We’ll never forget our Trinny”). But then this is part of what you go to a flea market for – the personal touch.

Self-styled Heston Blumenthals:

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Nothing will taste as you expect. A fried egg will turn out to be a custard-y dessert. Cupcakes will turn out to be bacon pies topped with sour cream dip; waffles might contain paneer tikka. The menu is a sample of oddities but the enthusiasm is infectious.

Hippies:

Heard the term ‘flea market’ and bounded over. Now they feel compelled to clarify that they’re anti-capitalist, and if you hang around they’ll explain exactly why. Keep muttering, ‘it’s sad how things have changed’. Wish they hadn’t come but will stay for the music.