Learn to stare back: A guide to surviving the Delhi man
Moving to Delhi soon? Here are some useful tips to help you navigate the testosterone-fuelled streets of the city.sex and relationships Updated: Jul 09, 2017 09:27 IST
Whether you’ve just moved to Delhi, or have been living here all your life, Delhi boys and their unabashed behaviour is quite legendary. With freshers’ season around the corner campuses in the city will be filled with hopeful and determined faces trying to bag that elusive spot. Since Delhi University is one of the most desired education centers in the country, it becomes the top choice for a lot of women from different parts of India.
So, if you are an aspiring young woman moving to Delhi, read these useful tips to help you stay safe and sane.
Let’s start with identifying that typical Delhi boy. He is that creep on campus who is incapable of minding his business; evolution of the species – Hornius Maximus.
As the title suggests, this species is always on the lookout for women to stare at, call them ‘patola’ or ‘maal’. They drive around in their massive SUVs, with the latest Honey Singh song blaring from it. Their favourite defence mechanism? “Tu jaanta nahi mera baap kaun hai!” And God forbid you end up befriending them, they act like territorial animals who want to guard you like they own you.
Now that you can spot a Hornius Maximum, here’s how to deal with them.
1. Stare them down: This one’s a tried and tested trick. When a guy stares at you, do not hang your head low and walk away. Stare back, with the most vicious, murderous look in your eyes. Let him know that you are not scared and are ready to fiercely protect yourself if need be. If you’re lucky, he’ll be ashamed and look away in under 30 seconds. If he gives you a creepy smile, continue staring. If he doesn’t stop, stare for a while longer and scream “Stop it now” with all of the rage brewing inside you.
2. Carry your weapons: I know we are not living in the Middle Ages, but it’s best if you carry some handy weapons in your bag. I am talking about pepper spray, a Swiss knife or even your trusty chappal should be good enough. Nudge your friendly neighbourhood aunty for a crash course; I am sure she’s flung a sandal or two at someone.
These men like to hang around with people who feed their egos. Shut them down, instead of reinforcing their patriarchal ways.
3. (Never) Get your information right: Starting today, live two lives. This species of Delhi men are known to approach women in public – whether it is a restaurant, a club or a shopping mall. My friend and I were once asked by a guy at KFC if he could sing a rap song for us. Turns out, after the song, he wanted to be ‘friends’ with us, even add us on Facebook. Men like him ask all kinds of questions – name, address, college, car number, among other things. For these unrelenting kinds, give out wrong details. Call yourself Priyanka Chopra. (PS: I’ve tried it and a guy totally bought it. Trust me, they’re not that bright).
4. Fragile egos no more: Want to shoot down the advances of a Delhi man? Try to hurt his ego. Say something they’d never expect to hear. These men like to hang around with people who feed their egos. Shut them down, instead of reinforcing their patriarchal ways. Learn to say no. Let them know you’re not scared. If this fails, call them out on their behaviour. For instance, if a guy tries to graze your thigh, retort with “Did you lose your hands? It seems to have landed on my thigh.” The public shaming will shatter their sky-high ego.
5. BFF to the rescue: With a new life on campus come random get-togethers and parties. These parties (where friends or friends of friends turn up) are a breeding ground for the Delhi boys. The concept of personal space is alien to them. And when you don’t want them to, they can stick to you like a leech. If you are ever stuck with some random dude, use a code word to let your bestie know. He or she will come to your rescue.
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