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Of love and distances

An extra push is needed for the smooth sailing of a long-distance relationship, finds Reema Gehi.

sex and relationships Updated: Aug 22, 2013 12:17 IST
Reema Gehi
Reema Gehi
Hindustan Times

Distance makes the heart grow fonder.. this could be best associated with a long distance relationship. There's effort involved in keeping a relationship going.. but when one sees less of one's lover, an extra push is needed to make it smooth sailing.

Spending hours talking over the phone is the accepted norm in a long-distance relationship. But discussing serious issues in this way has never been so easy.

There's hope in most couples surviving long-distance relationships today.. to make things happen and make it work.

Bridging the gap
Today web cameras help bridge the gap to a great extent. "My fiancée works in Pune.. we often chat and catch up with each other on the web cam. It's very convenient," says Pratik Goyal, a working professional.

Life tends to pull people in different directions. Circumstances.. career.. education.. it's inevitable. So does this distance actually decide the fate of a couple? How?

According to the profound saying, "Love surpasses all of this." But when it comes to physical proximity, does it really? There are different kinds of relationships.. each one requiring different techniques to make them work.

Imagine a man is re-located somewhere across the country because of a promotion at his workplace.. and his woman is doing fine in her present career.

They inevitably end up going their separate ways. Sometimes, young lovers are forced to call it quits because they're attending colleges in different cities, states or even continents.

Parting ways Eighteen-year-old Kiran Mohan says, "Last year, I moved to the US to pursue my studies. I was alone there and got very friendly to my best friend.. he became my confidant.

"With different time zones, I hardly spoke to my boy friend here. He was very insecure.. finally I broke up with him."

Sometimes skeletons are hidden in closets.. even the partner is unaware of this. Mumbai-based Neetu Seth was in for a rude shock when she learnt that the NRI she was engaged to was gay.

She explains, "He lived alone in Dubai.. I was in touch with him over the phone." Her story had a bitter end when a common friend broke the news of his sexuality to her. The agony and ecstasy of long-distance relationships are plenty but most result in infidelity. Dr Anjala Singh, a psychologist reasons, "In a long distance relationship.. expectations from each other build up."

The partner's physical absence leads to a let- down feel. With lack of communication.. thoughts of loneliness creep in.

Love triumphs
She adds, "One misses his or her loved one making a person vulnerable. "This results in talking about their problems to some one else.. that relationship is mistak en for something more than friendship."

Cynics will always question the extent to which long-distance relationships work. But all such relationships are not as bad.

Amrita Vij fell in love with a guy, in her teenage days. Finally, she married him. She says, "I met him when I shifted to Mumbai for studies. I returned to Africa, where my parents lived, after I graduated. But we kept in touch. I admit I was scared of a break up.

"Initially it was very difficult but we made it work. There were the occasional fights but we both worked to stabilise our relationship. We called up each other regularly.. we also kept in touch through long letters."

(Names have been changed to protect identities)

First Published: Jun 09, 2007 14:02 IST