A Dutch woman living in Mumbai has caught the internet’s attention after sharing how raising a child in India differs from her experience in the Netherlands. In an Instagram post, Ivana, who has been living in India for nearly nine years, reflected on her parenting journey while celebrating her daughter’s 2nd birthday.
“After 9 years in India, I’ve realized that ‘better’ or ‘worse’ isn't the point of comparing, it’s the trade-offs and learning how things can be done differently without judging,” she wrote, before listing 7 things that surprised her about raising a child in India.
One of the biggest differences, she noted, is the sense of community. While parenting in the Netherlands can feel like a “solo marathon,” she said Mumbai offers a strong support system. “In Mumbai, the ‘village’ is real. From family to the community in your building, someone is always watching, helping, or playing,” she shared, adding that it took time for her “independent Dutch spirit” to adjust.
Ivana also pointed out how child-friendly public spaces in India can be. Unlike in the Netherlands, where toddlers are not always welcome in certain restaurants, she said children in India are accepted “almost everywhere”.
She also contrasted parenting styles, describing Dutch culture as fostering early independence, while Indian parenting emphasises interdependence and community. “Dutch kids are raised to be fiercely independent (cycling to school alone at even just 8 years old!). In India, it’s about interdependence knowing you’re part of a bigger system. I love the community sense in India, but I do think it's important that everyone gets treated with respect and kids learn how to question authority even in a hierarchy,” she wrote.
{{/usCountry}}She also contrasted parenting styles, describing Dutch culture as fostering early independence, while Indian parenting emphasises interdependence and community. “Dutch kids are raised to be fiercely independent (cycling to school alone at even just 8 years old!). In India, it’s about interdependence knowing you’re part of a bigger system. I love the community sense in India, but I do think it's important that everyone gets treated with respect and kids learn how to question authority even in a hierarchy,” she wrote.
{{/usCountry}}(Also Read: Indian woman’s videos on Dutch traditions give desis 'second-hand cultural shock’)
Safety, academics and motherhood
Another unexpected aspect, Ivana said, was her daughter growing up multilingual. “My daughter is growing up trilingual without even trying. Hearing Dutch, English, and Hindi daily is a cognitive investment I didn't have to plan; it just happened. Her main language is Hindi, mixed with Dutch, Punjabi and Bangla (our help is Bengali) words. I LOVE that for her!” she said.
On safety, she said perceptions differ sharply. In Amsterdam, safety often means children moving around independently outdoors, while in Mumbai, it involves constant supervision and limited mobility.
She also flagged the early start of academic pressure in India, which she said was a “huge adjustment” compared to the Netherlands’ play-focused early childhood approach.
But at the same time, she appreciated the availability of domestic help in India, which allows her to spend more time with her child without feeling overwhelmed. “Because the common culture in india of having help at home , I can get help easily but still mostly be with my daughter without getting too much overstimulated. In the NL, she would most likely be going to daycare from 1 years old. I sometimes fear that she's not getting enough interaction and play with other kids because i spend so much time with here, but it just feels right for now,” she wrote.
Reflecting on her journey, Ivana admitted that raising a child in Mumbai initially felt “very scary” due to how different the environment was from her own childhood. However, she said that connecting with other parents, including fellow Dutch mothers, helped her feel more at ease. “Especially after being a very lonely refugee child, growing up without family in the Netherlands, watching Moana grow up with so much warmth and community has my whole heart,” she said.