For many NRIs, the first trip back to India is a whirlwind of nostalgia and sensory overload. However, for Justin Timothy Bhandari, a Vancouver-based social media manager who moved to Canada in 2018, his recent visit to Delhi with his partner felt like meeting an old friend for the first time. From questioning his decision while staring at the city’s smog to feeling an instant sense of belonging upon landing, Bhandari’s journey is one of rediscovered roots. In an exclusive chat with HT.com, he opened up about navigating the "not Indian enough" gaze, introducing his Canadian partner, Kevin, to his welcoming Delhi family, and why he finally felt "normal" after years of hiding his true self.
Talking about him and his partner, Bhandari told HT.com, “I am from Delhi, India. I was born in Delhi and stayed in Delhi up until August 2018. My partner Kevin is from Canada, he spent his childhood in a city called Kelowna, British Columbia. He was born in Calgary, Alberta.”
He added, “I moved to Canada in 2018 to pursue Psychology in College. Although I went to Delhi University right after my 12th grade and studied Psychology, my heart just kept swaying me to move abroad. I wasn’t sure whether I’d move to Canada or another country, but somehow I found myself choosing Canada and applying to Douglas College. The entire process of applying to my college, as well as the Study Permit, took half a year.”
How was it to relocate?
{{/usCountry}}He added, “I moved to Canada in 2018 to pursue Psychology in College. Although I went to Delhi University right after my 12th grade and studied Psychology, my heart just kept swaying me to move abroad. I wasn’t sure whether I’d move to Canada or another country, but somehow I found myself choosing Canada and applying to Douglas College. The entire process of applying to my college, as well as the Study Permit, took half a year.”
How was it to relocate?
{{/usCountry}}“I moved to Vancouver, Canada, in 2018, and since then, I have only lived in one other city, Kelowna. We moved to be closer to Kevin's family. Additionally, we wanted to enjoy Kelowna and find some peace from Vancouver's busy hustle culture. But I soon realised that living in a smaller city is not for me. Growing up in Delhi, I was used to the city hustle. Seeing people on the road, seeing the crowd, and realising everyone is being productive inspires me. I found Kelowna to be isolating. So, we moved back to Vancouver and are currently staying there,” Bhandari recalled.
“Foreigner” in his own hometown
Returning to Delhi after a gruelling few years of building a life from scratch in Canada, at one point juggling two jobs with only four hours of sleep between shifts, Bhandari expected a simple trip down memory lane. Instead, he found himself in a complex internal tug-of-war.
"To my surprise, seeing Delhi before landing was scary; the pollution made me question my decision to come back," he said. However, the moment his feet touched the tarmac, the smog of doubt cleared. "As soon as I landed, I felt I belonged. I no longer had to communicate in a foreign language. I felt seen, and I felt like I was home."
However, while he felt like a local on the inside, the city saw him through a different lens. At immigration, officers grilled him as if he were a foreign-born citizen. In the bustling markets, his shifted accent became a liability. "People told me to talk less while shopping, as it might drive up the prices.”
"My family had to handle all the haggling. People were genuinely surprised when I told them I was actually a 'Delhi boy.'"
This experience highlighted a peculiar limbo often felt by the diaspora: "In Canada, I’m not 'Canadian' enough because I’m not Caucasian, and in India, people saw me as not 'Indian' enough."
The journey with his soulmate
The emotional heart of the trip wasn't just the food or the monuments, but a milestone the Indian-origin man once thought impossible: introducing his Canadian partner, Kevin, to his traditional Delhi family.
Kevin, a scientist with a background in Biochemistry and Chemistry, was met with a welcome that defied all of Bhandari’s anxieties. "My family threw a huge welcome party—everyone from the oldest relative to the youngest was there, eager to meet him," he told HT.com, adding that the reception at the airport was quintessential India with garlands, arti, and immediate inclusion.
“It made me feel normal”
The acceptance went deeper than just hospitality. Bhandari said, “I didn’t have to justify or clarify my love for my partner. To see him embraced as a family member... It was heartwarming.”
Exploring Delhi:
Bhandari took his partner across the tourist staples in Delhi, including Qutub Minar and Hauz Khas Village. Bhandari recalled how Kevin fell in love with the spice of Delhi’s street food and the warmth of its people. What followed was Bhandari’s worries vanishing. “On day one, I said I wouldn’t be coming back. By the last day, I said, 'I cannot wait to be back.'"
Not all roses:
Unfortunately, not everything during the journey was filled with happiness and acceptance. Bhandari told HT.com about an unpleasant encounter at Delhi Airport. "Someone asked me why my nails were long and said, ‘Men should not have long nails.’"
Bhandari, however, replied to the person and shut them down by saying, “They’re my nails, it’s my choice,” and walked away.
Today, Justin balances his work as a social media manager and content creator with a life built on authenticity. By sharing his story, he hopes to reach those still navigating the shadows he once occupied.
"I feel humble knowing there may be people still in the closet who might read this and feel inspired," he told HT.com. "It was daunting to hide and not be able to accept ourselves. I wish I’d had more people like me in mainstream media to make me feel less lonely. Now, I get to be that person.”