A few weeks ago, an Indian-origin influencer couple shared a video on Instagram that showed them dancing on a beach with another couple. “Peak dual income, no kids lifestyle,” read the on-screen caption on the video.
The post was supposed to be a lighthearted take on a very personal choice of not having children. Instead, the couple — Afreen and Nish — were subjected to such vile abuse that they had to archive the video from their Instagram feed.
Now, Afreen and Nish have spoken to Hindustantimes.com about why they chose the ‘Double Income, No Kids (DINK)’ life, the hate they have received online, and more.
Who are Afreen and Nish?
Afreen and Nish are an Indian couple based in the USA’s Northern Virginia/DC area.
Afreen leads consulting practices at a major geospatial technology company, while Nish is an orthopedic physical therapist. Together, they run a travel and lifestyle Instagram account called @boldandthebaldie.
“We got married in January 2020 in Mumbai, India, just a month before the pandemic hit! We met online, Nish spotted me on a dating site but slid into my Facebook DMs,” Afreen told Hindustantimes.com over an email.
{{/usCountry}}“We got married in January 2020 in Mumbai, India, just a month before the pandemic hit! We met online, Nish spotted me on a dating site but slid into my Facebook DMs,” Afreen told Hindustantimes.com over an email.
{{/usCountry}}The couple dated long-distance for some time, flying between California and Washington DC. After their wedding, however, they settled in the Northern Virginia/DC area.
The ‘DINK’ lifestyle
On Instagram, Afreen and Nish’s content focuses largely on travel and their DINK lifestyle. However, they did not always think they would choose not to have children.
“For a long time, Afreen assumed she’d have kids , because that’s just what you do, especially growing up in a South Asian household where it’s less of a question and more of an expectation/the norm,” said Nish.
“But when we really sat with it together and asked ourselves WHY, not whether we could, but why we actually wanted to - we realized we couldn’t find an answer rooted in our own desire. We looked at our lives and genuinely didn’t feel like anything was missing. We were fulfilled, we were adventurous, we were happy.”
Many advantages of DINK lifestyle
Asked why they chose not to have their own kids despite loving children, the couple said, “We love children, we have a niece we absolutely adore and friends’ kids we cherish. But loving kids and wanting your own are two very different things.”
Part of the reason is so they can focus on their careers, families, and on travel.
“We want to invest deeply in our careers, in each other, in travel, and in our families. We’re very present in the lives of our nieces, nephews, and younger cousins. We genuinely love that role. We also firmly believe that people who choose not to have children would often make the best parents, precisely because they don’t take that decision lightly,” they say.
Not having kids has also allowed them to save and invest aggressively while living their best lives.
“We’ve both been able to pursue ambitious career paths without the impossible math of childcare costs, career pauses, or splitting focus. Financially, we invest aggressively: real estate, markets, building long-term wealth.
“Our lifestyle reflects that: we travel well, we eat well, we invest in experiences and in ourselves. But we’d push back on the idea that this is shallow. We’re also deeply rooted, we cook traditional Indian food at home, we show up for family, we’re involved in our communities. The DINK life gave us capacity, and we’ve tried to use it meaningfully,” they say.
But… it’s not just that
However, Afreen and Nish are careful to point out that it’s not just about money or freedom. Their choice to not have children is also about having options.
“People assume it’s just about money or freedom to travel, but it goes deeper than that. We have the bandwidth to show up fully for the people already in our lives: aging parents, siblings, friends going through hard times,” they explained.
“We have mental space to pursue work that’s genuinely meaningful rather than just financially safe. We have the emotional capacity to invest in our marriage itself, which is something couples with children often say they wish they had more time for.
“And frankly, we have the ability to take risks; in our careers, in investments, in life that create long-term security. The DINK life isn’t just about spending on vacations. It’s about having options.”
The downsides
The Indian-American couple does not pretend that the choice does not come with any downsides. There is, first, a sense of alienation from peers.
“There are moments of social isolation, especially as most of our peers enter the parenting phase. Conversations shift, friendships evolve, and sometimes you feel like you’re living on a different timeline than everyone around you,” they said.
“There’s also the question of who shows up for you when you’re older. We think about that, and we’re building intentional community and financial independence to address it. And of course, there’s the grief of sometimes wondering “what if” even when you’re certain of your choice, you’re still human. That’s okay too,” added Afreen and Nish.
On getting trolled
The video that propelled Afreen and Nish to infamy has now been archived. However, a repost on X has collected over 2.3 million views and many distasteful comments.
The couple acknowledged that the caption may have “landed wrong”, but pointed out that most of the vile comments focused on their looks and ethnicity rather than having a fair conversation.
“Parenthood is sacred to many, and we understand why the caption landed wrong for some. That’s a fair conversation to have.
“But to the people who called us infertile, who body-shamed us, who went after our friends who happened to be in a video with us that says nothing about us and everything about you,” they said.
‘Don’t judge'
“We expected people to disagree with our choice. What we didn’t expect was strangers diagnosing our fertility, commenting on our bodies, and deciding what a woman’s body “should” look like,” Afreen and Nish told Hindustantimes.com.
“What stood out most was how many of these comments came from parents themselves. The people constantly telling us that parenthood is life’s greatest joy often seemed to have the least tolerance for someone choosing a different path. That says a lot.”
Ultimately, the couple feels that people should not have been so judgmental about their personal choices.
“It was wrong for people to be so upset about our decisions, and ultimately no one else gets to decide what is right for someone else’s situation. Everyone is entitled to their own opinions, but that doesn’t mean they should judge or insert themselves into someone else’s personal choices,” they said.
And while the video did receive hate, it also found support from a section of the internet. For that, the couple is grateful.
“What surprised us just as much was the outpouring of support, from childfree people who finally felt seen, and from parents who were secure enough in their own choices to celebrate ours. That community reminded us why we share our lives online in the first place.
“Hate at this scale tells you something important, you’ve touched a nerve. And when a happy, childfree couple living their life quietly can trigger this much anger, it says more about how threatened some people feel by choices that don’t mirror their own.”