Parents need stress management lessons: Farah Khan

Director-choreographer Farah Khan wants to keep aggressive mothers on the sets of Dance India Dance Li’l Masters under check.

It’s her ninth reality show in the last 10 years and she is still not tired of them. The reason director-choreographer Farah Khan agreed to be on eight reality shows before Zee’s Dance India Dance Li’l Masters is that each one of them was different. Two seasons of Entertainment Ke Liye Kuch Bhi Karega (Sony) were crazy talent hunts. The two seasons of Indian Idol (again on Sony) involved a search for the golden voice. Now Li’l Masters is all about dance, with children as contestants. "I am not repeating myself," she asserts.

Dance India Dance Li’l Masters is Khan’s first show with kiddie participants. Though she’s not nervous, she admits that she wouldn’t have taken on such a show had it come to her two-three years ago. “Being a mother to three kids has helped me. Now, I know exactly how to deal with children. I put across my point to them without hurting their feelings. That’s important,” she points out.

Excerpts from our conversation:
Aren’t you bored of reality shows?
You know what, nine is my lucky number. So, this show better do well. (Laughs) Honestly, all my shows have been very different from each other. And the time gap between them has been considerable. So, boredom hasn’t crept in yet.

There are two other dance-oriented shows, Zara Nachke Dikha and Chak Dhoom Dhoom, also beginning this weekend. Won’t it be an overdose?
That’s actually a good thing. Everyone was waiting for the IPL to get over. May the best show get the highest TRPs.

Have you ever been given pre-written lines that are intended to spark off engineered fights between co-judges?
No one dare give me such a script. I’m sure the contestants sometimes are told to take the judges head-on. No one has ever tried that stunt on me!

You have three children, Czar, Anya and Diva, to raise. There’s also a home-production, Tees Maar Khan, to wrap up and bring to the theatres before the year is out. Also, numerous choreography assignments. And now, a reality show. Aren’t you taking on more than you can chew?
Sajid’s (brother Sajid Khan) Housefull is my last film as a choreographer. If Shirish (husband Shirish Kunder) wants me to choreograph for his film, I’ll do it. Tees Maar Khan’s next schedule begins after about three months. And even with three kids, I can manage one day of shooting for a reality show in a week. I’m pretty chilled out.

Would any of your two year olds make it Dance India Dance Li’l Masters, two years down the line?
I’m not a pushy parent. I won’t tell my kids, “Bachon, nacho, meri izzat ka sawal hai.” (Children dance, it’s a question of my prestige) I will never coax my kids for anything. Czar is my replica, a people-pleaser and a fab hip-hop dancer. He grooves to the title track of Tees Maar Khan and goes into a trance. If he wants to participate, I’ll let him.

What about your daughters?
Anya is like her father, an intelligent snob. Diva is the mother hen, always around to look after her brother and sister. None of my kids give me grief, they are real sweethearts.

Do you feed them lots of chocolates?
No chocolates from their Sajid mama (uncle), papa or mamma. I ensure that they’re nowhere near toffees. If I feed them today and tomorrow say it’s harmful for them, the kids will be confused. But I know that once they start going to school, there’s no way that I can keep them away from chocolates.

Are you strict with your children?
To an extent, it’s required. They should know how to behave themselves. I have to draw the line between love and discipline. I’m not going to pressurise them to top in their class or win every prize in school. I want them to enjoy their school life and their growing up years.

An eight-year-old from Thane committed suicide when she wasn’t allowed to take dance classes. With so many kiddie dance shows coming up, will pushy parents allow their kids breathing space?
I don’t know how much these shows will impact parents. They should allow their children the freedom to follow an art or a sport alongside studies. That’s important for their overall growth. I’m glad that our show is being shot during school vacations. No one misses out on studies that way.

You’re even planning stress management classes for pushy parents?

Yeah, to keep them under check. By pressurising kids, you’re being unfair to them. Today, more than kids, parents are stressed.

Parent Trap :Who looks after your triplets when you are away?
Their father. (Smiles) He’s a good daddy who keeps a keen eye on them. He ensures that they sleep and eat on time, and play enough. He gets hyper if Czar, Anya or Diva’s schedules go haywire. But he’s left the disciplinarian’s job to me.

Childhood Revisited :I believe you had a disturbed childhood?
Yeah, Sajid and I didn’t know where we were and why. Sometimes, we’d be with our dad but most of the times with our mum. She was very strict. She would beat us, often breaking hangers on our backs.
Once I came second in class. I was standing in the corridor of my building, crying. My neighbours thought that I had failed. But I was distraught because getting the first rank was priority in my house. Today, I give due credit to my mum for making me so competitive. But I will never be that way with my own kids.

Team Spirit :Geeta Kapoor was on two seasons of Dance India Dance. And then, one sees you on the show’s extension that’s only for kids. Is the once-upon-a-time rivalry surfacing again?
We never broke-up as a team. Geeta has always been and continues to be my able lieutenant. She didn’t want to do Dance India Dance, I had to coax her to take it up. Whenever I am approached for choreography assignments, I ensure that if I am not taking them on, I pass them to her or Feroz, another assistant. I’ve always encouraged my proteges unlike some choreographers who don’t want to see their shagirds to compete.