Guest column | A ‘kitty’ that became our solace in old-age

The nominal payments made in every kitty ensures active participation and members look forward to getting back a sizeable amount against the small instalments paid each time.

When I retired, my wife and I were keen to revitalise our social lives. We visited some friends, but hardly anybody reciprocated. It was then that we decided to form a kitty group (an informal savings club) with like-minded officers.

When I retired, my wife and I were keen to revitalise our social lives. We visited some friends, but hardly anybody reciprocated. (Shutterstock)

The nominal payment made in every kitty gathering ensures active participation as members look forward to getting back a sizeable amount against the small instalments paid each time.

Initially, we formed a group of around 10 couples, which was fun at first, but as happens in large groups, we realised a few members were loud-mouthed and always tried to dominate others. Feeling suffocated, five of us broke apart and formed a more cohesive group.

Two decades of friendship

We enjoyed our gatherings for around two decades. We would play tambola and prepare delicious food for our gatherings. Our outdoor activities included picnics, and sightseeing tours within India and abroad. We became part of each other’s family functions and supported each other through the ups and downs life flung at us.

These ‘kitty parties’ were not just not limited to feasting. We would discuss, politics, investments, current topics, our health, and organisational issues. If a member had a problem, others not only offered solutions, but helped wherever possible.

At first, the host prepared all the food and snacks. But, as we started aging, it was felt that it was too much trouble for the host, so we switched to pot luck with each member bringing a dish. Some aged faster than anticipated, which impacted their physical mobility. Then came the day when one of our members departed for his heavenly abode. His wife left Chandigarh to stay with their kids soon after.

Though old-age was sapping our energy by the day, our strong bond did not diminish our quest to meet. Soon the food choices became simpler, consumption of liquor became negligible and the frequency of meetings reduced. Dinners were switched to lunch as some of us were no longer comfortable driving at night. Then, two couples immigrated to Canada, further diminishing our numbers.

Covid almost sounded the death knell

Whenever members went abroad for a few months, the strength of our group was further reduced. Covid almost sounded the death knell to our gatherings.

However, our group rallied. While the desire to catch up remained, fewer meetings were convened.

When my wife and I decided to migrate to Canada, on a more or less permanent basis, other kitty members were disappointed as the quorum was further reduced. One couple was already talking about discontinuing the kitty. Another colleague does not keep too well to actively participate. Most members became emotional at our departure, and gave us a warm send off.

We still remain in touch over the phone with friends, who became our extended family. The meetings may have become scarce, but our bonding remains strong as ever. We, from Canada, wish our friends back home “happy gatherings” forever.

wcdpsbajwa@gmail.com

( The writer is Canada-based freelance contributor)