Spice of life: Marriage isn’t 50-50 deal but a beautiful bond of choice

Someday you contribute 70% and on others your partner contributes 90%. It can only work when we step into each other’s shoes and take up the domestic and social responsibilities, together, a step at a time, or maybe two

As we woke up the next morning in our quarter, I received a call from my brother. “Belated happy anniversary,” he sang and congratulated us on our sixth wedding anniversary. “So how did you celebrate?” he asked. “Well, I had the best anniversary to date,” I replied. Curious, he asked, “Did you get a solitaire or did he gift you the much-awaited foreign trip?” Laughing, I said, “None of it. But I had the best day.”

It’s said that it takes a village to raise a child but let me take the liberty to rephrase it. It takes a village to make a marriage beautiful. (Getty Images/iStockphoto)

Sensing the inquisitiveness in his voice, I started narrating all about my marriage anniversary. For the first quarter, we loaded our luggage in the truck, drove miles to the new location, unloaded the truck, moved the furniture, put up the soft furnishings, discussing and deliberating together what looks best in which part of the new abode. Then we moved to the most important part, the kitchen. As I had to attend to an unavoidable office video call, Mr Husband did up the rest of the household, while I sipped on iced cold latte. In the evening, we did the grocery, ordered dinner and wrapped up the day with watching an old movie, discussing random things, from the colour of the drawing room, placement of furniture to the first time we met.

Over the years, we have realised that our journey is about helping each other grow and value each other’s opinions. My polka prints or his geometric prints, my round chic cushions or his traditional square ones, my bright robin egg blue curtains or his earthy brown curtains, it’s not my choice or his choice, it is ours.

Marriage is fifty-fifty is the notion most progressive Indians are raised with. Well, it took us six years to understand that it’s not fifty-fifty. Someday you contribute 70% and on others your partner contributes 90%. It can only work when we step into each other’s shoes and take up the domestic and social responsibilities, together, a step at a time, or maybe two.

It’s said that it takes a village to raise a child but let me take the liberty to rephrase it. It takes a village to make a marriage beautiful. It is not just the two of us who have made this bond beautiful but everyone who has crossed our paths, be it our parents and relatives whose bond we have always idealised or a random couple you see in a metro holding each other’s hands amid the chaos, each one has made us realise that marriage is about standing close to each other on good days and even closer on bad days.

bagga.aastha23@gmail.com

(The writer is a Hoshiarpur-based freelance contributor.)