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Salute to silent warriors who soldier on as homemakers
Women often forget to care for themselves while caring for others. Though my experience was temporary, many women push away their dreams all their lives to be there for their families who don’t even acknowledge them.
“What do you keep doing the whole day? Don’t you get bored at home?” were questions friends and relatives asked me when I moved to Chandigarh. I had relocated to be with my son during his internship while his university in Canada was closed for summer break.
The mother in me wanted to be around him till he was in India for I had quit my job to travel to him and be available until he flew back. But my newfound role as a homemaker raised eyebrows and questions about my routine. As a working mom since he was one, I wanted to wash away the guilt of not being there enough for my child. Therefore, I decided to take charge of everything without any house help, citing that it was only the two of us.
My husband stayed back in Punjab to tend to business and family commitments.
Little did I know what I was heading for as I would wake up to a new problem every day – malfunctioning electronic gadgets, air-conditioner issues, water-purifier troubles, light fluctuations, water motor breakdowns, broken kitchen cabinet, leaking taps, the list was never-ending. However, those two months of my new role came with many lessons that changed my perspective.
First and foremost, being a full-time mom and a homemaker is not easy! You have to be available 24x7 to procure and prepare food, do the groceries and dishes, dust, do the laundry, answer the doorbells, and attend to an army of guests. Many women live their entire lives in this way, often in oblivion and without being credited for their tireless efforts. The only time they are called out is to be pointed out by their husband, children, and in-laws that the dish is not good enough. I have a newfound respect for homemakers who work not only without being paid but also without being heard or seen.
The second lesson was to be grateful for all that you have and the choices you make in life. Be content with your decision, whether to be a working woman or a full-time homemaker and fulfil the responsibilities that come with it while being grateful for the opportunity to play that pertinent role.
The third most important lesson I learned was not to let people take advantage of you. Speak up if you feel wronged. Though I had earlier managed a big household in a joint family with a full-time job, the new role of preparing three full meals daily in humid weather was overwhelming. By the time I finished one chore, it was time for the next. My daily routine, including yoga, reading, nature walks, writing, online business, took a back seat.
Women often forget to care for themselves while caring for others. Though my experience was temporary, many women push away their dreams all their lives to be there for their families who don’t even acknowledge them.
The words of Audre Lorde, an American writer and philosopher, echo loudly: “I am not free while any woman is unfree, even when her shackles are very different from my own.”
nazam81@gmail.com
The writer is a Hoshiarpur-based freelance contributor
