Spice of Life: A child’s Yes Day offers life lesson for grown-ups

The journey from the child’s hue and cry to an adult’s quiet understanding of these binaries is a long process that trains us to accept the bittersweet realities of life with equanimity.

“She announced early in the morning that it’s her Yes Day today, so she’s not coming for the video call,” our son said, as we sat down for our weekend video call to our granddaughter in the US.

So, her refusal didn’t come to me as a disappointment. But I was a little intrigued, as I reflected on the conversation. It’s so rightly said that the child is the father of man, and that even the smallest things can become life lessons for us. What set me thinking was the concept of the Yes Day. (Getty Images/Fuse)

“I don’t know from where she’s picked up the idea, but today we, her parents, are supposed to say ‘yes’ to whatever she asks for, though her demands are quite simple - breakfast of her choice, half an hour of TV, half an hour of playing games on her tablet, taking her to the park in the afternoon, and then to the mall for shopping.”

“Are you planning to schedule a ‘No Day’ next week? I quipped. “No chance! She’ll raise a hue and cry, and would never agree to that,” my son smiled.

It was not the first time that we couldn’t talk to her, as a six-year-old child tends to be quite moody. Sometimes she shies away, hiding under the blanket, or behind the doors, and sometimes she is so excited to play our teacher, making us, her Dadu-Dadi, do 4+4, or write b-a-g bag, then giving us A/B grades. Once she even reprimanded me, “Dadi, you talk too much. Let me take you to the principal’s office.”

So, her refusal didn’t come to me as a disappointment. But I was a little intrigued, as I reflected on the conversation. It’s so rightly said that the child is the father of man, and that even the smallest things can become life lessons for us. What set me thinking was the concept of the Yes Day.

Let’s imagine the child to be each one of us, the human beings, and the parents, the Providence. Don’t we always yearn to have Yes Days in our lives? Rather, we want each day to be a Yes Day. Every morning, we pray for the day to go according to our plans, such as: Oh, God, let me get a green signal at every crossing, as I’m already late. Hope my boss clears my leave application. Hope the maid comes in time. Hope the doctor is available in the clinic, and the list is endless.

If we face a ‘no’, though we may not raise a hue and cry like the child, we do rue and regret, bemoan and bewail, and swear under our breath, blaming either the persons concerned or our stars, ‘Mera toh din hi kharab hai (It’s my bad day - read No Day).”

But as mature adults, there is a need for us to understand that this concept of Yes Day and No Day is an unavoidable binary of life, like joys and sorrows, tears and smiles, hope and despair, and success and failure. The journey from the child’s hue and cry to an adult’s quiet understanding of these binaries is a long process that trains us to accept the bittersweet realities of life with equanimity.

May we accept our Yes Days and No Days with grace and humble resignation. njkaur1953@gmail.com

The writer is a Patiala-based retired associate professor in English