E-Paper
Spice of life: Find time for kids before inevitable role reversal
To reset my real relations, I set reel limits. My resolution to go on a digital detox at home allowed new seeds of friendship to gain ground and blossom afresh.
Most of us cherish the idea of finding the perfect balance while juggling our career and family. For me, it’s been far easier said than executed.
The other day, my wife, an ophthalmologist, remarked: “Not only do I treat disorders of the eye, I study them emotionally, too.” Before I could decode the implicit meaning of her impulsive statement, she added, “Our son, Saket, misses your company.” She then showed me a picture she had secretly clicked in which our teenaged son had his eyes fixed on me, while my eyes were transfixed on my smartphone.
A wave of nostalgia followed as my wife reminded me of the testing times we had jointly faced throughout our medical study. Years ago, having got admission in one of the top defence hospitals, INHS, Asvini, Mumbai, to complete our postgraduation (MDs) in our respective disciplines, my wife and I had left our young son in his grandparents’ care. To pass each day without him at an age when he needed his parents the most was an uphill task so much so that we often failed to gather the courage to speak to him over phone as he’d innocently solicit our early return in a choked voice.
With our MDs completed, we eventually got home to spend time with our son. Soon, I got a call from a medical college in Kolkata for my DM degree. To nullify the pangs of separation, this time, I decided to take the entire family along. Three years flew by and my professional commitments one after another left little time for me to see my son growing up.
Cut to the present, three alternate days in a week pass away in rendering my services to a multispecialty hospital in Jalandhar, while the rest of the three days see me prescribing tests and pills in my Pathankot-based clinic. To advance my plans to open a private hospital eats into Sunday, too.
Ever since my wife rightly noticed the distance between father and son growing, I decided to make amends. Shunning my laziness to wake up late, long after his school bus leaves, I began rising with the sun, only for my son. With the hidden aim to sensitise my son about the ‘real’ world from a mature perspective; going for long morning walks with him worked wonders. Soon, we were sharing anecdotes, interests and even long-kept secrets.
To reset my real relations, I set reel limits. My resolution to go on a digital detox at home allowed new seeds of friendship to gain ground and blossom afresh. We would play badminton on the terrace late in the evening which not only helped us shed extra kilos but also dismantled formal barriers that usually exist between a father and his son in traditional Indian settings.
Seeing our companionship and bonding, my wife was naturally pleased.
I realised our professional duties and desires hardly have a full stop. The endless pursuit of amassing material prosperity doesn’t let parents realise when their children grow up craving for their undivided attention. Now, I devote all possible time to my son until the inevitable role reversal happens when ironically, I’ll be the one missing the company of my ‘busy’ adult son as an aged father. vijaybudhwar.endocrinologist@gmail.com
The writer is a Pathankot-based endocrinologist
