Spice of Life: Mind the manners, forgotten virtue of everyday etiquette
Our motherland deserves respect, and that begins with small acts of responsibility; even modest gestures of civility may make a big difference in how everyone feels about society
As we waited patiently at the narrow staircase of a posh Chandigarh café for a young couple to climb up and make their way out, I was least expecting a thank you from them but adding to my despair, they didn’t even bother to acknowledge our gesture. People frequently do this, and it is nothing new. Being educated, wealthy, or modern has nothing to do with manners. But we must remember former US President Theodore Roosevelt’s quote: “To educate a man in mind and not in morals is to educate a menace to society.”
I was heading a team in a company where my colleagues would shut the door in my face while I stood holding it for them. Once, when I asked a girl about it, she blamed it on her upbringing. As a courtesy, one has to hold the door for the person behind irrespective of their gender, status or age. It has happened to me at so many public places, that I keep standing holding the door and people walk by without noticing. The aphorism by American lawyer Clarence Thomas should be reiterated to our brethren: “Good manners will open doors that the best education cannot.”
However, the lack of civic responsibility extends beyond doors. It is commonplace to find people littering. They don’t think twice before throwing a banana peel or wrappers after devouring a fast-food meal, out of their luxury cars. I remember, an IPS officer’s wife who herself was serving as a senior government official throwing a napkin at our gate without any remorse while we waved her goodbye. Ironically, the individuals who complain about the country’s cleanliness contribute to its mess. Many NRIs too when they return home, lament that “it is not clean,” conveniently ignoring their role in maintaining civic order.
We have all experienced people talking loudly on their mobile phones in public places and to mere dismay even abusing as if it is a mantra. Lack of manners and etiquette is evident in public areas, as people frequently cut in hurriedly to avoid queues, particularly at airports and restrooms. Deboarding the aircraft becomes a chaotic frenzy.
On roads, a disregard for traffic rules is witnessed all the time. People honk needlessly, drive recklessly, and park their cars carelessly and hurriedly without even noticing that the other person was patiently waiting to park at the same spot. They take pride in causing problems rather than taking into account the convenience of others.
Typing with capital letters on the Internet is regarded as yelling, but many people do it without realising how impolite it is.
Our motherland deserves respect, and that begins with small acts of responsibility. Even modest gestures of civility may make a big difference in how everyone feels about society.
Yet, every once in a while, a glimmer of hope shines through — a stranger holds the door, offers a smile, steps aside to let another drive or pass by. In our fast-paced lives, let’s pause occasionally to extend courtesy for as former American President John F Kennedy said: “Ask not what your country can do for you, ask what you can do for your country.”
nazam81@gmail.com
(The writer is a Hoshiarpur-based freelance contributor.)