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Witerati: Of ‘vaxing’ eloquent and ‘valfies’
The coronavirus vaccine has spawned a new sort of selfie – the ‘valfie’, which comes in three varieties
There was a time when ‘update-ism’ divided haves and have-nots on the basis of status symbols such as a new Merc, Mountain Mansion or Maldives vacation. The pandemic has changed all that.
Maldives vacations were gone with the wind, Mercs gathered grime in garages and the recession made maintaining mansions an uphill task.
Earlier, ‘selfie-ism’ was made up of prized pixel moments such as the Twitterati’s first ‘shot’ at the Beverley Hills, Broadway or Barcelona games. However, the post pandemic,or rather corona’s second coming, has changed all that. It has tossed up a new emblem for 15 minutes of ‘frame’— the first shot.
‘Selfie-ism’ boasts of a new status symbol for segregating haves and have-nots — the vax selfie. Or if I may coin the term — the ‘valfie’! The pandemic’s ‘valfie’ comes in all shapes, sizes and surmises.
Of vaccine and verbosity
The first kind of ‘valfie’ is defined by content. This ‘valfie’ narrative exhibits symptoms, not of Covid, but of verbal diarrhoea. In which Twitterati are driven by a new art of lipping: How to vax eloquent.
This status ‘update-ism’ or ‘selfie-ism’ suffers from severe symptoms of verbal diarrhoea that spouts or shouts the vaccine’s four Ws – when, where, wows and woes.
The nitty-gritty defining this narrative reads thus – a mini essay on the ambience of the clinical destination where the tryst with the vax is kept, a long ‘short list’ of who’s who in the waiting room, portraits with your pet accompanying you in the car for moral support; and a thesis on the mood or Vero Moda you sported on the trip for the prick near your ‘moda’.
If you’ve scrutinised a poodle or Persian cat preen ‘n’ pose for the paparazzi at a pet show before being put through a hurdle race, you will get the drift of what this Valfie looks like. The curious case of ‘When Hari Met Vaxy’.
Of shots and side-effects
Another kind of vax selfie is the one defined by intent. This ‘valfie’ endeavours to either inform or inspire.
If the ‘valfie’ shows a vaccine recipient flashing a toothy smile exposing all 32 ceramic crowns studding the faux jawline, it is meant to inspire, by assuaging apprehensions as ‘teething’ problems. If the ‘valfie’ narrative reads like a long list of sordid side-effects, then it’s driven by the intent to forewarn, not to make a martyr of your forearm. The curious case of ‘for whom the alarm bells toll’.
Of vax and vex
When the vax comes, can our loud yet loveable ‘Punju’ couple, Lamba ji and Lollita, be far behind!
Lollita goggles glacially at Lamba ji getting ready for their first shot. Obviously, this is not a honeymoon-ish first shot, rather the vax first shot, wherein the honey in the nuptial narrative has long since dried many moons ago.
“What is this canary yellow shirt for?” Lollita gapes.
“Oye, for the vax selfie, honey!” Lamba ji gurgles.
“You’re teaming it with a hooker lipstick-red tie?!!!” Lollita looks visibly vexed at his vax wardrobe.
“If Trump can carry off this couture, why can’t I?” Lamba ji prattles, piqued.
“Dump Trump! To go get protection from corona, must you look like a jaundiced Amaltas tree!”
The curious case of ‘who moved my kameez!’
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