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Gossip corner: Minissha's fetish for guns

Minissha Lambacollects rifles and on seeing revolvers jumps like a kid would on seeing an ice lolly.

entertainment Updated: Nov 21, 2008 19:01 IST your daily dose of gossips with Honey. She writes on the glamour world and the spicy scandals of Bollywood celebs

Present sir.. absent sir!

Not a word, not a single word, my fluffies, on those banes of my life. Madhu my Mottu Maid has been sent out to walk my cat Laraboo on the Western Express Highway.

Vaziran bua has been doped out with strong stuff in her hookah and has curled up in a dark corner, like Kangana Ranaut in Fashion.. or was it Wah Wah Lamhe or was it Gangsterni? Kangy’s always doing this dope-no-hope act, oof.

And in case, you’re interested at all in my research assistant Dimwit Mirza, I sent her (smart of me, actually) to La Vie lounge last evening. Golmaal Returns but she didn’t.. what pure, sau fi sadi joy!

How much she lies and does fakum-fake is not funny. May the lord above protect her.

Anyway seems the Golmaal success bash was a success. Everyone was there, including the extra-busy Vrijesh Hirjee who I believe flew in from Helsinki. That’s one-up on Tusshar Kapoor who just flew in from Cape Town.. why he had to do that, maloom nahin, but according to a dispatch filed by Rapchik Rajni, much distress has been expressed by tradewallas.

Meaning, in these days of financial crunch and munch, why spend lakhs on air travel? Unless of course, he was travelling economy.

And dear Kareena Kapoor made her displeasure (with her abbreviated role) felt by not showing up. Some said she was shooting (hope not rifles), others said she was down with a bad cough and cold. Coff, coff, coff. Still others said that Saif Ali Khan and she have resolved never to go out without each other to any dooh or pooh. And SAK was just not in the Golmaal mode.

I didn’t show up, well, just because I don’t. I’m like Aamir Khan darlings. I just don’t attend celebration and award parties.. even though I lovvvvvvvve them.

So hotsy totsy
Aaah da aah. Listen if I were Katrina Kaif, I would make up my mind at the speed of a bullet train. If she wants to remain in Salman Khan’s good books (not that he reads), she had better never ever give him the hotsy totsy treatment.
So there they were at the Whistling Woods doing their numbers to promote Yuvvraaj.

Sallu was into some kushti exercises, she was gabbing and gabbing. He tried to attract his attention, she gave him one of those not-now-not-now-duniya-kya-kahegi? classic Asha Parekh looks. And so our Sallu fumed, almost exhaling smoke through his nostrils.

And to register his protest, he scooted off from the spot, giving her the darkest look this side of an eclipse. These possessive men I tell you.

Gun uthi shehnai
Now, now I’m being told by an anonymous phone caller that Minissha Lamba has a secret fetish for guns. And to think, I was told that she’s very crazy about white bikinis.

Anyway, Minisshaji collects rifles and on seeing revolvers jumps like a kid would on seeing an ice lolly. Ooooh, I’d better end this piece right here and right now. What if she takes umbrage at the revelation of her raaz? And goes gunning for me?

I’m going into hiding.. and will ring up the Thomas Bawarchi travel agency to select the best hideaway from me.. never mind the cost. Zindagi ek suffer hai suhana.. and all that.

Zara hate ke
Baap re Baapi Lahiri. What am I hearing? Ram Gopal Varma, instead of a Fan Club is initiating a Hate Club. If he doesn’t include moi, moi, moi and moi on it, I’ll be so displeased.

I want to be in the exalted company of Antara Mali, Urmila Matondkar, Nasha Kothari, Jiah Khan, Manoj Bajpai, every Kashyap in the world, Madhurji Bhandarkarji, Vivzie Oberoi.. oof, my hands are tired typing. Hate Club Returns tomorrow.

Pose ke peechhe kya hai?
What’s this? Have this courier with a tiny note telling me that at a do the other day Sonal Chauhaan refused to pose with Tulip Joshi for the camera guys.

Then Tulip refused to pose with one Aushima (not related to the great Japanese director of the same name) for the camera guys.

And just see, how life comes full circle! Then the camera guys led by the cuddly wuddly, beautifully perfumed and cologned Yogen Shah refused to pose with Sonal Chauhaan.

That’s why I adore our camera guys, especially perfumed Yogi. But then, such is life dearies.