Nicole Kidman opens up on the death of her mother, says it 'changed every part of me’: I'm on the journey of grief

Actor Nicole Kidman lost her mother Janelle Ann Kidman last year in September. She was 84 at the time.

Nicole Kidman is gearing up for the release of her new show Nine Perfect Strangers Season 2. The actor has been on a prolific run, busy with a number of releases and projects. In the midst of this, she recently had a personal loss with the death of her mother Janelle Ann Kidman. She was 84 at the time. In a new interview with Allure, Nicole shared that her mother's death ‘changed every part of me’. (Also read: Nicole Kidman thanks fans for respecting her privacy after mother's death)

Nicole Kidman got candid about losing her mother and dealing with the grief. (AP Photo/Chris Pizzello)(Invision)

What Nicole said

During the interview, Nicole opened up about her mother's death and said, “Losing my mother changed every part of me,” she says. “I spoke to her every second or third day. And because she was on the other side of the world, if I woke up at 5:00 a.m., I'd get up, I'd walk around the block and I'd talk to her for an hour before the girls got up, before Keith got up. That was the rhythm of my day.”

'I'm on the journey of grief'

She went on to add, "I’m so raw with it. I feel embarrassed because I feel like, Oh, you’ve talked about it enough. So I have to keep saying to myself, It's okay. Maybe it's my sense of what I feel I should be doing. I'm trying to be quiet and have it be a more intimate thing with just my friends or my sister. The love was so profound that the loss of it… I'm on the journey of grief, the year of magical thinking.”

The news of Nicole's mother death was revealed when the actor won the Best Actress award for her role in Babygirl at the Venice Film Festival last year. Director Halina Reijn accepted the award on Nicole's behalf and shared a statement that was written by her.

"I'm in shock, and I have to go to my family, but this award is for her. I am beyond grateful that I get to say her name to all of you. The collision of life and art is heartbreaking, and my heart is broken," read a part of the statement.