The bindaas bride: Women are no longer coy mannequins on their wedding day
A wedding video that has gone viral has turned a bride into a mini celebrity. This is the kind of insta-fame that everyone is aiming for. While it’s fun, the pressure can also be too much.
Delhi girl Amisha Bhardwaj has become an internet celebrity overnight. Her wedding video, which shows her performing to Cheap Thrills by Sia, is breaking the internet. In the video, Amisha shows off her coolest dance moves, while getting ready for her destination wedding. Her couldn’t-care-less attitude and wild, unrestrained dancing has got people talking. Wearing chooda on her wrists, funky shorts and a pair of sunglasses, she grooves to the song in a totally uninhibited fashion.
Amisha had no idea that the video would go viral. “I never imagined that people would go crazy about it. We shot it while I was getting ready and waiting for my bridegroom, Pranav, who was late. I was super angry, as it was a beachside wedding and I wanted it to be perfect. My videographer suggested that we dance to kill time. I didn’t know that the video would be so cool. I’m getting friend requests and messages from people across the world. But the best compliment came from my husband. He said he is proud of me because I am so bindaas,” says Amisha. “My in-laws are also going crazy about it. They have been complimenting me and sharing the video with friends.”
Pawandeep Singh, owner, Coolbluez, who made the video along with his partner Surpreet Kaur, says that he didn’t want Amisha’s wedding video to be mush-loaded and melodramatic. “She wanted something cool, quirky and out of the box. We thought that a video of a bride dancing to a fun, peppy number with her bridesmaids will be cool. Cheap Thrills by Sia seemed to be the perfect pick. Amisha is a confident girl and she performed flawlessly,” he says.
It’s almost a Bollywood night
A performance by the bride herself at her wedding is one of the newest wedding trends. “Brides practise for months under experienced professionals to put together that jaw-dropping performance on their big day,” says wedding planner Swati Chiripal. “It’s like a Bollywood awards function. Everything has to be perfect. These are memories for life, and people give it their best.” “Brides are no longer shy and coy these days. They are totally chilled out and they want to make their big day ‘happening’. They want to enjoy the day instead of just smiling like a mannequin,” says Singh.
Introverts have to keep up, too
While some people have a lot of fun shooting videos, there are brides and bridegrooms who are not so ‘cool’, and they find these wedding videos a torment. But they just have to do it because their cousins and friends have done it, and they can’t let their family down by refusing.
Newlywed Naila Khanna (name changed on request) says, “I’m an introvert. I dread public-speaking or performing before the camera. It gives me cold feet. My husband, on the other hand, is very outgoing. My family put a lot of pressure on me to match up to him on my wedding day. They said that we couldn’t be so dull, and we have to make a fun video. I had to learn dancing and singing for the performance. All the time, I was thinking that I wouldn’t be able to make a mark, that I wouldn’t be as good as him. It led to a lot of stress. I had an anxiety attack. I could not sleep for nights, thinking that I’d mess up the shots.”
It can get quite competitive
Experts agree that often there’s huge pressure on girls to be the coolest bride ever. Weddings are like a rehearsed play, a mega production, and everyone is expected to put up a stellar performance. There’s ruthless competition among families and there’s the expectation that the wedding will give them a viral video. This leads to tremendous pressure on brides to be as interesting as a celebrity.
Psychologist Pulkit Sharma says that brides and bridegrooms are often forced to do something unusual because normal is not acceptable anymore. “The expectations are unrealistic. People want everything to be larger than life. I’ve seen brides get unnerved before their wedding day, because everything has to be picture perfect.”
Sharma adds, “A wedding is an occasion when you want to relish beautiful moments, feel good about yourself and relax. But the desire to seek admiration and approval from others is taking the true joy out of weddings. There’s this fantasy of showing to the world that you are too good, you are rich, talented, and cool. This often leaves brides and bridegrooms stressed out.”