SurferSpeak: Pre-marital sex okay
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SurferSpeak: Pre-marital sex okay

Our surfers seem to toe a middle path with regard to sex before marriage.

india Updated: Feb 02, 2006 19:05 IST

Sex sells. Boy, it surely does. Cook it up in any concoction and it works. We carried an article on how two lovers were done to death by their respective families for having pre-marital sex. We also carried a story on a survey conducted on to check out if women were keen on doing what's called 'revirgination' in the west, aka surgery to regain virginity. And found that most women thought it lacked any logic or reason and rejected it.

However, our surfers seem to take the middle path on the matter of pre-marital sex. They are conscious that 'virginal aspirations' in today's world is rather preposterous but conceded (especially some men) that it's a rare high to know that your wife is untouched. But many seem to add that uncontrolled craving for sex is no good.

However, all are appalled at the brutal tribal practices though with regard to it.

Kanupriya from New Delhi was quite sure that there was nothing wrong with pre-marital sex and nobody (read family or others) had any role to play here.

"Going for pre-marital sex between two adults is absolutely a matter of personal choice of the couple and neither parents nor society have any rights to judge or give punishment, considering it a crime. We Indians need to realise that the society is transforming and need to bring it out in the open. Only then we would be able to leave the shell of hypocrisy and come closer to the burning reality which is, 'pre marital sex is not a taboo anymore'."

Mridul from Esfahan in Iran was shocked and called for harshest punishment for the culprits.

"This is ridiculous. They killed their own son and daughter, because of their own egos. They should be given strictest of punishments. It should be a lesson for all."

New Delhi's Rohit too was aghast at the dastardly act. Here's what he had to say.

"Can it get worse? Two young people in love are hanged for a crime they haven't perpetrated? Is this where we are heading? Ours is the most backward society. I hate to be a part of it. First you have cases like Meerut, where girls are badly beaten up publicly for no rhyme or reason, and now this. Is it ever going to stop? Are we ever going to learn to appreciate the value of love?

I hope the people involved, specially the poor girl's father, get death sentence, so that they suffer what those two lovelorn people had to go through. He is a barbarian and needs to be treated like one. Even better, he should be stoned to death."

Strong words.

However, frt from Kochi, India gave a fresh perspective on the issue.

"I'm a guy. If my wife were a virgin it would be mind blowing, I wouldn't hold it against her if she were not. However I'm not sure if it turns out that she has slept with every Tom, Dick and Harry who has come her way. If she had sex in a loving relationship before she met me, I would be ok with it."

There were those who chose to speak more on the pre-marital sex than the case in focus.

And all seem to say that in Indian culture, there is no room for such an act.

"In a nation where Hinduism, Sikhism, Islam and other religions teach moral disciplines and expect their children, both male and female, to remain virgins until after marriage, it is sickening to see how today's youth have begun to preach on what is morally acceptable and what is not, based on their own wrong doings, " said Aaryan Sharma from New Delhi.

Ridiculous! What about the human urges and instincts, Aaryan.

He added, "Such people do not care for culture as they dance to the tune of the West which preaches 'do what you like'. We Indians are starting to lose our identity, not to mention our virginity, because our youth are focusing too much on the West, trying hard to be 'sexy' or 'cool' like the bunch of morons in Bollywood, who look like nothing more than an ugly attempt at trying to be 'white'.

Satish from Washington DC, USA felt one must encourage speaking frankly with our respective partners about sex before marriage, he added that the act mustn't be encouraged too much.

"I think media should be more responsible instead of coining fancy quotes like 'Virginity is no more a valued quality in India. It matters only to those who want to break down doors'. Don't encourage infidelity and immorality in society. It's up to individual person to do whatever they want to do with their body but, cheating another human being and encouraging this trend is not good, " he said.

First Published: Feb 01, 2006 16:39 IST