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‘You can’t force love to happen’

You can’t have both the guys at the same time, says Candice Pinto.

india Updated: Aug 16, 2010 15:45 IST
Candice Pinto
Candice Pinto
Hindustan Times

I am 18 years old and madly in love with a girl, whom I’ve known for 10 years now. I proposed to her last month, but she turned me away saying she only sees me as a friend. But it hurts a lot to only be her friend, because I feel I can’t live without her.
I know it is difficult, but then you can’t force her to love you. It’s up to you to decide whether you want to stay friends with her or not. If her presence disturbs you so much, I suggest you cut ties with her completely. It’s up to you to decide.

I am 16 years old and I was in a serious relationship with a guy for a year. We broke up before our board exams due to stress. We decided to get back together after the board exams, but in the meantime a common friend told him that I was two timing him with another guy. Do you think he still loves me?
I do not see the love between you two. If you two were serious, breaking up just due to examination pressure doesn’t make any sense. And if you like him so much, I’m sure that things can be worked out. But the question you have to ask yourself is whether you love him. Talk to him and see what he thinks about you. Then decide what you want to do.

I am 16 and in a committed relationship. My boyfriend stays in another city. There is another friend of mine, who flirts with me every now and then. He is a playboy, but I know he does it in jest. I tried expressing my feelings to my boyfriend, but he brushed them away. Now my boyfriend is not talking my calls. But my friend is always available. I like both of them a lot and don’t want to lose either. What should I do?
You sound confused, and because of that you don’t know what you really want. But you can’t have both the guys at the same time. If you say your friend is some sort of a playboy, do you see yourself dealing with a guy like that? Make a choice.

I am 20 years old and I like this 18-year-old girl in my college. We are good friends, but I didn’t even realise when I started liking her. I have become possessive about her. She knew I liked her a lot and my behaviour turned her off. Now we don’t even talk. I miss her a lot. What should I do?
Give her some time. You need to divert yourself to other things and stop thinking about her. I know you miss her, but she hasn’t recovered from the shock yet. So you will have to start fresh all over again. Be patient. When the time is right, apologise for your behavior and hope for the best.

I am 13 years old and I am in love with a guy. We are just friends for now, but I don’t like it. I am always thinking about him. A few months ago, I expressed my feelings to him and he got angry. What do I do?
You are only 13 years old and you have a lot to learn about love and relationships. I know how you feel about him, but if he is not sure about you, you can’t keep pushing yourself, right? Just meet him and ask him straight up, if he wants be in a relationship with you.

I am a 16-year-old girl. A few months ago, I fell in love with a guy. We started dating, but now he has started behaving weird. He ignores me. I really like him and I feel lonely. What should I do?
Your are in love with him, but does he feel the same about you? He may be nice to you, but you might have mistaken it for love. It’s alright to be single. Enjoy the moment while you can. You will surely find the right guy. It’s just a matter of time.

First Published: Aug 16, 2010 15:39 IST