Do you overshare and overdo? Here’s the FYI on TMI

Clinical psychologist Dr Vandita Dubey says it’s possible to make a statement that doesn’t directly attack or counter attack. “If the incident is upsetting or negative, do mention it. But keep it factual,” she says. “This way you are likely to come across as more credible and people are more likely to take your post seriously and not dismiss it as an emotional rant or a personal vendetta.”

Don’t use abusive, derogatory language, it just gives the opposition one more area to attack. “When we post about what’s happening in our personal or romantic lives, we open gates for others to interfere,” says clinical psychologist Dr Gayatri Mehra.

“Write what you want to say, but don’t post it immediately. Give it a few hours and then come back to it,” says Dr Dubey. Read it again. Chances are, it will seem too much even to you and you’ll tone it down or decide to avoid posting it.

Most mature people know there is more than one side to any story. “When people sling mud in public, it’s just a spectacle for others. A dignified, short, to-the-point post may be better than a long rant or sob story, no matter how tempting it is to get into sordid details,” says Dr Dubey. This is likely to help you come across as mature and level-headed rather than an emotional wreck, she adds. Remember: potential employers also trawl social media. They tend to be wary of hiring people prone to emotional outbursts.

When complaining about work, talk about how your struggles have helped you grow or more resilient or demonstrate a positive attribute or even show you are likely to be a dedicated/committed worker because you need the job. A potential employer must see you as an asset, not a liability, says Dr Dubey.

Over-sharing often comes from a place of emotional reactivity. “Before you post anything, think about why you are sharing it. Is it better to phone a friend or meet in person and rant/vent/share about something than to do it on social media?” asks Dr Dubey.