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Unlocking love: 8 relationship patterns that block you from attracting a healthy partner

Relationship therapist shared eight common relationship patterns that could be impacting your journey towards lasting and meaningful connections.

Published on: Nov 29, 2023, 17:58:03 IST
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Do you feel like you're 'unlucky in love', always attracting the wrong type of person? Well, the fault may lie in your relationship patterns. Fostering healthy, fulfilling connections in the complex dance of love and relationships requires an awareness of the patterns that guide our interactions. Often, certain deeply ingrained patterns and relationships act as imperceptible roadblocks, impeding our ability to attract a partner who shares our goals and emotional state. If you are jumping from one unhealthy partner to another, there may be certain relationship pitfalls that are preventing you from attracting a truly healthy partner. It's important to illuminate these unhealthy relationship patterns to facilitate deeper and more fulfilling relationships throughout your romantic journey. (Also read: What are relationship cold plunges? How can they improve a relationship? )

8 relationship patterns that block you from attracting a healthy partner (Unsplash)
8 relationship patterns that block you from attracting a healthy partner (Unsplash)

8 Relationship Patterns Blocking Your Path to a Healthy Partner

Erica Turner, Relationship Therapist and Dating Coach shared in her recent Instagram post eight relationship patterns that might be holding you back from attracting a healthy partner.

1. You tolerate partners who cannot fully be what you need. You accept breadcrumbs and do not walk away when you should.

2. Your anxiety and fear around being alone drives you to make relationship decisions from this fear-based place. Being with yourself doesn't yet feel like a secure place to be so you seek security through others.

3. You do not ask for what you need because you're worried you will be seen as "needy", so you date people who do not meet your needs because you have not shared your needs.

4. You accept behaviour that you do not like because you don't want to scare them away, so you settle for less.

5. You show up in your relationships as an inauthentic version of yourself, hiding your thoughts, opinions, and feelings. You are emotionally unavailable too, which continues to foster a relationship that is void of emotional intimacy.

6. You consistently put other people's needs and preferences before your own, which shows the other person that you will tolerate their behaviour.

7. You show up boundaryless. You do not set or uphold external boundaries or you consistently edit or adjust your boundaries to accommodate the other person, at the expense of yourself.

8. You do not hold yourself to any internal boundaries. You do not hold yourself to any internal standard of how you will allow yourself to be treated, so you tolerate emotional absence in the relationship.

  • Akanksha Agnihotri
    ABOUT THE AUTHOR
    Akanksha Agnihotri

    Akanksha Agnihotri is a lifestyle journalist with over 3 years of experience. She is a psychology graduate and holds a postgraduate diploma in Radio and Television Journalism from the Indian Institute of Mass Communication, Delhi, where she graduated as a gold medalist. Originally from Bhopal, the beautiful capital of Madhya Pradesh, she draws inspiration from the city’s rich cultural heritage and layered storytelling traditions that subtly shape her narrative voice. She writes extensively about fashion, beauty, health, relationships, culture, and food, exploring everything from trending styles and runway moments to wellness routines and mindful living. Passionate about meaningful and candid conversations, she enjoys interviewing celebrities, doctors, designers, and film personalities, diving into discussions on fitness, beauty, mental health, and everything fun in between. With a keen eye for trends and a thoughtful understanding of human behaviour, she brings depth, sensitivity, and authenticity to her stories, ensuring they resonate with a wide and diverse audience. When she’s not working, you’ll usually find her lost in a book, planning her next mountain trek, or mapping out spontaneous travel escapes. She loves discovering new authors, revisiting old favourites, and spending quiet afternoons in museums soaking in art, history, and culture. An avid bird-watching enthusiast, she finds joy in early morning walks, spotting rare birds, and reconnecting with nature. Whether sipping coffee while journaling her thoughts or exploring hidden corners of a new city, she constantly seeks inspiration in everyday moments that often turn into compelling story ideas.Read More

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