5 signs to know when your ego is controlling you

Ego is not always bad and can serve as protector when things turn unfavourable as it fights to keep us safe from anything it feels is a threat. However, when it starts controlling our behaviour causing much shame and regret later, it is better to manage it well and use it to our advantage. Here are signs when your ego is controlling you and how to manage it. Tips by psychologist Dr Nicole LePera.

Published on: Jan 24, 2022 2:21 PM IST

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"When the ego is activated, it goes into full blown protection mode. Because we aren’t taught how to manage our egos, typically the ego takes immediate control of our behavior. We might lash out, try to prove our point, shut down, say things we don’t mean, or treat people as though they are a threat to our own lives. This can cause so much shame because when the ego is driving our behavior, we feel regret afterwards," says Dr Nicole LePera. Here are signs your ego has taken control of you in a certain situation, as per the psychologist. (Shutterstock)

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You are defensive and no longer listening because you are trying to prove yourself right. (Pixabay)

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You have intense emotions and feel like you want to cry, scream or just feel overwhelmed (Pixabay)

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You say things you don't actually mean and your nervous system is dysregulated (Pixabay)

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You keep replaying the conversation wishing you had different comebacks or want revenge in some way. (Pixabay)

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You are no longer able to be lighthearted, curious and open. You feel the need to protect yourself, or you shut down. (Pixabay)

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Dr LePera suggess working on the ego to become more conscious of it so that one can make choices beyond the ego's reaction. "The more we practice being aware: 'oh, this is my ego' breathing, pausing before we react— the more confident we become," she says. (Pixabay)

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When we are aware of how ego works, it will also allow us to be conscious to when other people are in an ego activation state. We can learn that their behaviour isn’t personal and their reactivity is a result of their own inner world, says the expert. (Pixabay)