5 things we unconsciously do when we fear being abandoned: Therapist explains

From becoming hypervigilant to distancing ourselves from others, here are a few things we may do unconsciously when we are

Published on May 29, 2024 06:27 PM IST 6 Photos

The fear of abandonment can make us feel scared of our own security and stability as well. This fear can further trigger a lot of behavioural patterns which are unhealthy for us. "Abandonment is not often recognized as trauma. The truth is, abandonment means different things to different people.⁣⁣⁣ It is an extremely personal & individual experience.⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣ ⁣⁣Some have experienced physical abandonment by one or both parents leaving, through divorce, separation or loss of life.⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣ Some may have experienced emotional abandonment, when they were neglected, their needs not meet, & made to feel like they didn’t matter.⁣⁣⁣⁣ Fear of abandonment doesn’t always come from leaving directly. It can come from the indirect things that could lead to them leaving.⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣ It comes from the loss of love.⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣ And sadly, the cycle of abandonment causes you to abandon yourself and leave good relationships in unconscious ways," wrote Therapist Emmylou Antonieth Seaman.(Unsplash)

We sometimes fear getting hurt so much that we may start to distance ourselves from others or avoid people getting emotionally close to us. (Unsplash)

We constantly need assurance of loyalty from others – hence we may create situations to test the loyalty or commitment of those close to us. (Unsplash)


To ensure that others do not abandon us, we may start to become very clingy or controlling in nature. We also may start to feel threatened by other people in the lives of the ones we consider close to us. (Unsplash)

We may get into the hypervigilant mode to monitor the behaviours of others to understand how they feel about us. (Unsplash)