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Witerati: Bollywood betis unleash war of the proses

As much as fights for rights, this is also Twitter’s season of Who’s Who writes. How passé exposés, with two top Bollywood betis becoming authors, it’s the War of the Proses!

punjab Updated: Sep 30, 2018 09:28 IST
Chetna Keer
Chetna Keer
Hindustan Times
Twinkle Khanna at the launch of her new book Pyjamas Are Forgiving(Viral Bhayani)

Twitterverse is the new Kurukshetra as far as staging literary clashes goes, for letter or prose. Twitter is today the Wimbledon or Wankhede for many an other game, be it battles for a right or write.

As much as fights for rights, this is also Twitter’s season of Who’s Who writes. How passé exposés, with two top Bollywood betis becoming authors, it’s the War of the Proses!

Bollywood Beti Bani Author 1:

Many a tell tale tweet week after week and a sneak-peek later, Twinkle Khanna, the talented daughter of yesteryear Bollywood superstar Rajesh Khanna unveiled her third book. Ah, but when Bollywood steps into author-hood, there is nary a mere book launch, there’s the red carpet, too. Putting their best foot forward at the Bollywood beti-cum-biwi’s book launch were tinsel town Who’s Who, strutting ‘n’ serenading on the red carpet with or without Jimmy Choo.

Bagging a bright ‘Bollywood beti or biwi bani author’ is now to India Publishing what L’Oreal’s signing up stylish Sonam K Ahuja or dashing Deepika Padukone for Cannes is to Advertising. It’s Planet Publishing’s best bet(i) to Bestseller Lists.

It translates into a thousand tweets travelling on Twitterverse between Publisher Camp One and Bollywood Beti One at speeds faster than ace athlete Manjit Singh or IPL spin sensation Mayank Markande, for the sake of prodding the book to destinations Bestseller List, Short List & Co.

A curious case of Bollywood royalty becoming the new brand ambassador for author-hood’s ‘royalty’.

Bollywood Beti Bani Author 2:

When a yesteryear superstar’s daughter makes it big as writer, can the daughter of a living superstar be far behind! Tweeple are set to see the debut of Shweta Bachchan-Nanda, the bright Bollywood Beti Bani Author No 2. (‘No 2’ positioning having nothing to do with the two’s talent quotient but with the timing of trundling into author-hood).

If Bollywood Beti Bani Author 1 has “Pyjamas …” propelling her on the “pant-ingly” tedious path up bestseller charts, Bollywood Beti Bani Author No 2 does promise surprise with “Paradise …”

And when Planet Publishing comes riding the Bollywood-beti-bani-author bandwagon, can Litfests be far behind! The season is set for Litfests to make a scramble for starry spotlight gamble. If one Litfest bags Bollywood Beti 1, the second Litfest will boast of Bollywood Beti 2. The clash of celebrity author-lists is to Litfests what the NDTV vs Republic divide is to TV panellists. This translates into hundred thousand more tweets travelling Twitterverse, thanks to Publisher Camp 1 vs Publisher Camp 2; Bollywood Beti 1 plus Bollywood Beti 2; Litfest 1 boasting Bollywood Beti 1 vs Litfest 2 bragging Bollywood Beti 2.

A curious case of now book tweets travelling faster than even the combined sprinting speeds of Manjit Singh, Jinson Johnson & Co.

Authorhood, beyond Bollywood

Between or beyond the betis of Bollywood, lies the rest of India’s author-hood. The rest of “Pen-dia” boasts its own divide. On the one end of the spectrum stand celebrated authors, boasting pride of place in ‘Short lists’, ‘Long Lists’ and name ‘n’ fame trysts.

Straddling somewhere between and at the far end of the spectrum are authors who brag no star tag, the only stars are in their eyes; who boast of no Bollywood roll call at book launches, only of writing’s ardent ‘role’ call.

These authors are what Croatia was to FIFA finalists. Their books either on their own steam sell, or they go to hell. (Hell herein alluding to dungeons where doth distributors dump copies unsold of tales fondly told).

A curious case of author-hood that isn’t the royalty of Bollywood living by the script: #HowToWriteRoyallyMinusRoyalty!

(The writer can be contacted at chetnabanerjee@gmail)

First Published: Sep 30, 2018 09:28 IST