Commitment not my cup of tea, darling!
Once the hallmark of true love, commitment has now become a phobia for the GenX lover, finds Neha Chawla.sex and relationships Updated: Aug 07, 2013 12:15 IST
One of my friend, Silky (20), a sales executive with a private firm, was quite upset and she explained me the reason of her misery. Her love life seems to be on the brink of collapse. The reason: Her boyfriend was not ready to commit. The fear of geting hooked to someone for lifetime was getting on his nerves.
It has become very common among youth to get goosebumps when it comes to committing. The whole ideas freezes them and make them tongue-tied.
The present scenario has gone undergone tremendous change. The youth are more dedicated towards their career and marriage is not on their minds. Their priorities include economic independence, success on professional front and a great lifestyle. Who would like to settle down and bear the burden when other significant things are waiting to be done? The young people are concentrating on grabbing the new opportunities coming their way and perhaps they don’t have time to get involved in added responsibilities.
“The youth has a realistic approach. They have expectations which sometimes are way beyond what they can achieve. They fear the additional responsibility of the relationship culminating into marriage,” asserts Dr Bhavana Barmi, senior clinical psychologist and marriage therapist.
Loss of Freedom
The fear of being attached and tagged as married is quite irksome. The word ‘M’ can really be jittery and make things tough for a love relationship.
The thoughts about adjustments and compromises post committing are scary. Dr Srividya Raja Ram, a psychologist with Escorts hospital explains, “ Relationships are perceived as binding and youngsters fear to loose their individuality,” adding that they might have to compromise on their freedom and it can interfere with their personal growth.
Wedded to beliefs
It’s a common perception that love marriages are least successful. The statistics about rising divorce cases would surely give hiccups before two souls decide to get wedlock. The indecisiveness to move further in a relationship always prevails on account of trauma and emotional instability that can be caused due to a marriage failure. This questions the risk-taking attitude of youngsters in matters related to heart.
The odd working hours at the office and busy life are driving youth to a much easier way- the online dating and networking sites. These sites are providing GenNow to meet like-minded people without any boundation to get into a serious relationship. An HR executive, Tarun (24) agrees, “ I have joined orkut to date women, who do not seek long-term relationship.” Perhaps this generation is quite content and happy with short-term arrangements.
Every coin has two sides and perceptions and thinking can vary in different individuals. There are lovebirds who after being hit by cupid’s arrow, go on to give a strong foundation to their beautiful bond.
The commitment jitters do pester them initially but they overcome the hindrances eventually. The person with whom you share a great chemistry can actually be your perfect soul mate. Actress Amrita Arora expresses, “ It’s awesome and its something that brings stability, if you are with the right person.”
Marriage is an extension of a love relationship and commitment enhances the trust between the partners. So girls and boys do believe in your love and never hesitate to ask the words, “Will you marry me?” because Marriage is just a beginning and not a final destination. Hope you will surely give it a thought.
First Published: Apr 05, 2007 16:09 IST