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Thursday, Oct 17, 2019

How to make long distance relationships work?

Experts suggest that with smart planning and mutual effort, it could be a smooth sailing.

sex-and-relationships Updated: May 29, 2019 17:33 IST
Pallavi Rai Bhasin
Pallavi Rai Bhasin
Hindustan Times, Delhi
Building a sense of security and commitment toward each other is integral along with a positive attitude could definitely cement the long-distance relationship.
Building a sense of security and commitment toward each other is integral along with a positive attitude could definitely cement the long-distance relationship.(Unsplash)
         

Long distance relationships (LDRs) are never easy, but by making mutual effort to communicate and a grown-up approach, they have the potential to work seamlessly. One should have the right attitude and an active communication with one’s partner to ensure the spark stays alive. “The foundation of any healthy relationship is trust. Building a sense of security and commitment toward each other is integral along with a positive attitude could definitely cement the long-distance relationship,” says psychologist Harsheen Arora.

Different time zones could damage a relationship. Prioritising of schedules is important if you want the relationship to last. In this day and age of Facetime and texting, being in a long distance relationship has become relatively easier and requires less effort compared to the old days, when one would travel from one place to another just to be with their partner for a few days. “Fundamentally, romantic relationships come in our life to fulfil certain needs like physical, mental, emotional, financial and so on. Psychologist and marriage counsellor Shivani Sadhoo says, “If two partners, geographically separate for a certain time period, they must first understand what they will be missing from their relationship and what will they gain if they accept the sacrifice and continue their sincere efforts during this period.”

Here are some ways to maintain a healthy LDR:

1. Discuss certain communication basics as a couple. How would you normally prefer to connect, at what time and the duration?

2. Make a genuine effort to rearrange plans and make time to talk, particularly when things get busy or there is a time difference.

3. Talking to your partner has to be a priority, certainly, but not the only priority. Avoid spending all your time texting or talking.

4. Trust is the base of any relationship, but more so, when you are at distance from your beloved. Avoid being over possessive and honour your partner’s privacy and freedom.

5. Invariably infuse positive energy into your LDR to keep it alive. Tell yourself that you have someone to love and be grateful for the little things.

6. Social media is one of the best ways to stay updated about your partner. Like each others posts on Twitter, Facebook, and Instagram. Tweet or tag each other.

- Shivani Sadhoo, psychologist and marriage counsellor

Things one needs to know before embarking on an LDR:

1. Physical closeness and intimacy is a key part of any relationship. Lack of this in a long distance relationship can be challenging.

2. Intense negative emotions may arise when your partner is outside with his/her friends doing activities which you would like to do with them. Acceptance and trust will help in dealing with these emotions.

3. Matching schedules and timings will be hard and there will be times where you might miss each other. This will require some effort from both ends.

4. Do not panic in a long distance relationship, there will be various disturbing thoughts that might cross one’s mind, try being calm about such things.

5. If one is doubting there partner’s loyalty, they should have a broader mindset. Chances are there will still be love in a long distance relationship.

- Harsheen Arora, psychologist

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First Published: May 29, 2019 11:32 IST

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