Who is a demisexual? 5 signs you may identify as one

Demisexuality is within the asexuality spectrum and is used to describe a person who does not experience sexual attraction unless they form a strong emotional bond with someone.

If you’re here, you’re clearly wondering if demisexuality really exists. You might have known sexual and asexual since those biology classes in school but what is demisexual? Let’s find out.

An emotional bond comes first for a demisexual. (Photo by ian dooley on Unsplash)

Demisexuality is within the asexuality spectrum and is used to describe a person who does not experience sexual attraction unless they form a strong emotional bond with someone.

Most of us have become fickle in relationships as time goes by and commitment today is a gift, for those who feel grounded enough to not move on to the next one at the drop of a hat. Even when we see our friends discuss the opposite sex and how someone’s good looks, baritone voice, long legs or even the shape of their bodies (read: good physique or an hourglass figure), set their hearts aflutter, we go with the flow, because it’s totally normal to have these discussions amidst friends. But have you ever found yourself feeling like a misfit in the midst of all this talk? Then you’re not alone, even if it might feel so in that moment.

Here are a few signs to tell you that you’re probably a demisexual:

The idea of sex doesn’t necessarily turn you on

You find sex a physical bond which happens after a strong emotional bond has been established. You don’t just get turned on at the idea of having sex with someone.

Sleeping together with someone entices you more than making love

You love the idea of melting in someone’s arms and staying that way for a long time than just making love for those few minutes and then going to your respective side of the bed. Sleeping together for you doesn’t necessarily involve having sex.

You like to be friends first before rushing into a relationship

You have to be friends first with the person you go out with, and eventually settle down with. Being a demisexual, when you say you’re just ‘good friends’ with someone, you mean it.

One-night stands are not your scene

With dating apps and their popularity rising day-on-day, one-night stands are more rampant than those cups of coffee you would have had with your person of interest in the good ol’ days as they would be called today. But not when you’re a demisexual. For you, it’s not your choice because without an emotional bond, there’s no love or love-making story prevalent for you.

Personality is about everything else than good looks

This one’s self-explanatory and it’s not just the looks that turn you on. You’re into deeper connections and look for all that in your relationships as well.

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