IITian exec recalls situations when ‘good’ employees quit because of him: ‘Nobody teaches you how to be a manager’

The executive who graduated from IIT and then ISB shared three harsh lessons he learned during his early days as a manager.

An IIT and ISB alumnus is gaining traction online for his candid reflections on the steep learning curve of leadership. Despite his elite education, he admits that his early management style led to the loss of three talented team members. In a viral post, he breaks down how he mistook silence for recognition and defensive behaviour for authority.

The IIT graduate-turned-manager is being praised on social media for his candid reflections. (Instagram/@mr_nerdexy)

“Nobody teaches you how to be a manager. IIT trains you to solve problems. ISB trains you to build strategy. Your first management role? That trains you by letting you fail,” Siddharth Maheshwari wrote and recalled how three “good people” left his team in the early stages of his career.

The 34-year-old explained that they didn’t leave because he was cruel or didn't care; they quit because he was doing something that nobody had taught him “not to do.” In his Instagram post, he shared the lessons each of those incidents taught him.

“Recognition is not implied. I gave my best performer more work. In my head — that was trust. In her head — that was being taken for granted. I never said ‘you’re doing great’ out loud. I assumed she knew. She didn’t,” he wrote, adding that the moment taught him to always acknowledge good work publicly.

Sharing about the next incident, he posted, “Disagreement means they care. Someone pushed back on me in a meeting. I got defensive. Went cold. Stopped including him in key conversations. I thought I was managing a dynamic.I was actually losing someone who cared enough to have an opinion.” Maheshwari explained that now he “leans in, not away.” He added, “The day your team stops disagreeing is the day you should worry.”

As for the third incident, he shared how “Let’s see” is not an answer that employees should hear from their superiors. “Someone came to me wanting to grow into a different function. I kept saying ‘let’s see’. For months. She found her answer elsewhere.”

Following the incident, he now gives definitive answers to his team. “Now I give a real answer. Within 2 weeks. Yes or no. With a reason either way. People can handle a no. They cannot handle a maybe forever.”

Sharing what he calls “truth about management,” Maheshwari wrote, “Your first few years as a manager — you will make mistakes. Not because you’re bad at it. Because nobody gave you a manual for the human part,” adding, “The IITs and ISBs of the world teach you everything except how to make people feel seen. That part — you learn by losing people. And then deciding you won’t lose them the same way twice.”

Social media reacts:

An individual wrote, “Great narration! Keep going, you will get more clarity.” Another expressed, "At least you looked inwards and learnt... that's growth.” A third added, “I always say, leadership doesn't need a designation. I am glad you are leading now.”

Siddharth Maheshwari’s Instagram bio claims that he shares “Career advice. Real talk. No fluff.” He completed his education from IIT Roorkee and then pursued higher education at ISB Hyderabad.