Model Gaurav Arora who appeared on reality show Splitsvilla in 2015 has transformed himself into a woman and wants to be called Gauri Arora now. While he shared his glamorous pictures on Instagram posing like a girl, he says a sex change surgery might take a year or two.
“Right now I am on medications. When my doctors will feel that I am physically ready to undergo the surgery, we will decide then. Anyway, I don’t think I need a vagina to look or feel feminine. (Also) it’s very expensive. But I will undergo a breast surgery soon in next couple of months,” he says adding, “I can’t look like trash being a public figure. I can’t look abnormal. I can’t let people get uncomfortable with my presence.”
Not ashamed of living life on his terms, he says, “Yahi toh thi main (This is what I am and have always been). I gave birth to myself again. I went against society, friends, parents and everyone else,” says Gaurav who came out openly about being bisexual on the TV show.
While everyone might be taken aback with his decision to declare to the world about his sexuality, not many would know his real struggle. “In all these years, I have tried so many times to be a girl. But because of my constant pressure from my parents and society to look like a (straight) boy, I could never come out. I was never allowed to talk about how I felt inside. People used to laugh at me. I even tried to commit suicide,” shares Gaurav.
{{/usCountry}}While everyone might be taken aback with his decision to declare to the world about his sexuality, not many would know his real struggle. “In all these years, I have tried so many times to be a girl. But because of my constant pressure from my parents and society to look like a (straight) boy, I could never come out. I was never allowed to talk about how I felt inside. People used to laugh at me. I even tried to commit suicide,” shares Gaurav.
{{/usCountry}}Amid all this, not getting family support made it all even more difficult. “My father is not supporting me. My younger sister doesn’t talk to me. My mother is on my side but not willingly. But I can’t live my life according to them. I couldn’t have been in between. Either you have to be a boy or a girl - you cannot be a joke,” he says.
Now that Gaurav has taken the big leap, he says he’s enjoying this new lease of life. “I know I am pretty and I work hard to look pretty. The real challenge now is that I want to prove to the society that we transgenders do exist and we can be look as beautiful as Katrina Kaif and act as well as them. And being a transgender, I have an equal right to do what I wish to, go to the best of hotels, wear my favourite brands and live a normal life.”
Recounting the incident that made him realise his true identity of being a woman inside, he recollects, “In Splitsvilla, this celebrity actor visited the sets and I just fell in love with him. I’ve always been his fan. But when I realised he was cheating on me with another guy, it was then I realised he was just using me to get sex. And I decided that I want to live my life the way I want – being a girl.”
Gaurav has admitted that he was always attracted to men. So why didn’t he choose to come out as gay? “I never thought of myself to be gay. If that was the case, I could have been the happiest because then it would have been easier to curtail my identity and hide my real self. (Also) I feel men think twice before ditching or hurting a girl emotionally.”
The 23-year-old model feels sad that talking about sexuality still has a stigma attached to it. “Even celebrities, if they are gay, are not ready to talk. I don’t know why they hide or feel scared to come out in open. They are powerful, they can tell the world and it’s natural to be the way you are.”
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