Irrfan Khan’s wife Sutapa on 35 years of companionship: ‘Ours was not a marriage, it was a union’

Irrfan Khan’s wife Sutapa used the metaphor of a boat to describe their life. She said she sees her little family, in a boat, with sons Babil and Ayaan paddling it forward and the late actor guiding them “wahan nahi, yahan se modo.”
Irrfan Khan is survived by his wife Sutapa and sons Babil and Ayan.
Irrfan Khan is survived by his wife Sutapa and sons Babil and Ayan.
Updated on May 01, 2020 04:29 PM IST
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Hindustan Times, New Delhi | By

Irrfan Khan’s wife Sutapa has opened up about their 35 years of companionship in a heartfelt letter two days after the death of the acclaimed actor. Sutapa was a pillar of support throughout his treatment for neuroendocrine tumour, a time which had “it’s own beginning, middle and culmination with Irrfan helming the role of the orchestra conductor”.

Calling it all not a loss but a gain, Sutapa said, “The only thing I have a grudge against him is; he has spoiled me for life. His strive for perfection doesn’t let me settle for ordinary in any thing. There was a rhythm which he always saw in everything, even in cacophony and chaos, so I have learnt to sing and dance to the music of that rhythm, even with my tone-deaf voice and two left feet.”

Irrfan Khan and Sutapa during their early days. (Sutapa Sikdar Facebook)
Irrfan Khan and Sutapa during their early days. (Sutapa Sikdar Facebook)

She called their life a “masterclass in acting” and revealed how particular she was in mugging up his medical reports. “So when the dramatic entry of the ‘uninvited guests’ happened, I had by then learnt, to see a harmony in the cacophony. The doctor’s reports were like scripts which I wanted to perfect, so I never miss any detail that he sought for in his performance,” she said.

Also read: Irrfan Khan’s wife Sutapa, son Babil pen heartfelt open letter: ‘It’s magical, whether he is there or not there’

Sutapa summed up her life with Irrfan as a “wondrous, beautiful, overwhelming, painful and exciting journey “ and said, “Ours was not a marriage, it was a union. I see my little family, in a boat, with both my sons Babil and Ayaan, paddling it forward, with Irrfan guiding them “wahan nahi, yahan se modo” but since life is not cinema and there are no retakes.”

Sutapa and her sons Babil and Ayan are set to plant his favourite raat ki rani tree at his burial site “to put him to rest after a victorious journey” amid tears.

Irrfan and Sutapa had met at the National School of Drama. The two got married in February, 1995.

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Monday, July 04, 2022