Salman Khan's Kick is yet another clone of his earlier films

Another Salman Khan movie is upon us and thousands will be spending their hard-earned earnings (in India and abroad) to shore up Kick's collections. The film has been released on 5000 screens in India and 42 other countries.

Will you be one of the people queuing up for buying the tickets? I am guessing the answer to that question largely would be a yes, along with a long lecture on Salman's merits as an entertainer.

But think about it - haven't you seen Kick before, actually many times before? For, essentially, every film done by Bollywood's favourite Bhai are the clones of each other. Don't believe it? Here's how…

Salman is starring as… Salman
The name of his character can be Devi Lal nee Devil (Kick), Chulbul Pandey (Dabbang and Dabbang 2), Radhe (Wanted), Lovely Singh (Bodyguard) or Tiger (Ek Tha Tiger), you see the star only as himself with the same hulking walk, same expressions, same dialogue delivery and same dance steps involving pelvic movements. His fans opine they want to see the star, not the actor. We are not arguing with that - the point here's that you see Salman as Salman, only the price of the film ticket may vary.

He plays Robin Hood, yet again
Salman was the one who introduced the 'Robin Hood' Pandey motif in Dabbang but long before that, we had got used to seeing him as the good-bad guy. He plays by his own rules and operates just outside the periphery of law. What he takes from the rich, he gives to the poor and is the messiah of the underprivileged in every single film.

Being human, what?

Dialogue
There are many whistle-worthy moments in every Salman Khan film, the most important of which is one ballistic dialogue. If Dabbang had allusions to what bullets can do to your anatomy's nether regions, Wanted was about Salman's commitment issues. Ready told people not to underestimate three people - I, me, myself. Kick has one too -- Dil mein aata hoon, samajh mein nahin.

Heroines are just props
Sonakshi Sinha, Ayesha Takia, Asin, Kareena Kapoor or, the latest, Jacqueline Fernandes - heroines are just pretty props in the film. They are supposed to look pretty and say a couple of dialogues, and then scoot. Take them away and not one thing changes in the plot.

High on action, low on plot
When you are getting so much awesomeness in form of Bollywood's reining deity, who needs a plot? Other than a few exceptions, every Salman Khan film makes do with wafer-thin plot, a song praising the star's persona, one romantic song and another where he gets to do towel dance or shake his belt. Add in bombastic dialogues and high-octane action and you have a blockbuster.

Salman loses his shirt
Yes, he will go shirtless in this one too. The only thing different will be whether it will self-combust, rip apart, snatched off by the villain or just vanish in face of Salman's charisma.