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Essentials of a lockdown qualified job certificate
Spice of Life: For physical parameters, the medical certificate would say Vitamin-D deficient because of no outside exposure; caroused fingers due to doing the dishes
The time is not far when applying for jobs, one would be required to submit a lockdown qualified certificate (LQC) that could be self-attested and would have certain parameters with evidence to support one’s claim while being hired.
For example, the medical certificate would corroborate your work from home (virtual) and work for home (physical) status. For ascertaining physical parameters, the medical certificate would say Vitamin-D deficient because of no outside exposure; caroused fingers due to doing the dishes, gardening and handyman’s repair work; loss of weight due to no-armchair luxury but standing and moving most of the time while working; fair complexion due to staying indoors; and dark circles due to stress and overwork.
Your bandwidth subscription to prove your virtual work from home would be required, besides your use of internet for other jobs such as gaming, using social media, and watching films on Netflix, Prime Video, SoniLIV or Hotstar, to ascertain your claims of adhering to the complete lockdown protocol. They might also need your net banking and Paytm or PayPal transactions, to confirm if you went to the bank to withdraw money, or stayed home getting things online.
To find out if you have really worked in the kitchen, an ability test, ‘Smell n’ Tell’, would be conducted to ascertain the claims in your LQC by making you smell and tell various fragrances, perfumes, aromas, smells etc, to confirm if you have been working in the kitchen, and are well aware of the scents of coriander, cumin, ginger, cardamom, carom seeds and fennel besides the smells of garlic and onion. Also, if you are aware of the taste of milk having been overboiled and got a black layer deposited at the bottom of the pan. You must know the curd having gone sour enough to turn your nostril drift to the other side, with a jerk of the neck. Also, you should be able to tell if it’s the right stink of a drainpipe or rotting mangoes. Such sharpness of smell and taste, should confirm your acquired sharpness of working in the kitchen.
Well, the CCTV camera installed at your house may help the employer find out your LQC claims of having answered the doorbell yourself to receive couriers. Your Facebook and Instagram updates, compared with your pre-corona times, should not show you in many dresses since you may have to show that your wardrobe hasn’t been used at all for any weddings, parties or gatherings to attend. Speedometers of vehicles registered in your name should confirm they did not move out at all and the last reading recorded with the service station stood there only.
Now the most important parameters: If you’ve had your vaccination doses; if your eyes and dental check-up are still pending; if your hair has grown enough not having been to a salon for a hairdo; and lastly, your videos to confirm if you beat thalis, clapped talis, and burnt diyas.
rajbirdeswal@hotmail.com
The author is a Panchkula-based retired IPS officer, a commentator and an advocate
